Korea

I try to keep up with the news and each parties' and countries' political ideologies but I don't always know what's going on. Regarding North Korea, though, I've kept up with Kim Jong-Il's death and the appointment of his son, Kim Jong-Un, as the North's new supreme leader. I also recently saw a headline that said the North's government reaffirmed hostile relations with South Korea. That, to me, is just plain silly. It's bully talk and sounds like the person who has nothing better to say.

There are, what, three Communist countries (I told you I don't always do my best of keeping up with world affairs as I should) left in the world - Cuba, China and North Korea? It's always hard to change ideologies. Just think of yourself when someone's tried to change your mind or you've changed your mind on your own and there's that awkwardness and discomfort as you get used to your new way of thinking. With China continuing to grow as an economic and military and, consequently, world power, I can see why North Korea wouldn't want to change. The North Korea government likely sees its own growth and strength through China's. I could be way off on this but it makes sense to me if North Korea's leaders felt this way. However, who really wants to be in conflict all the time? Families are torn apart because of the North-South divide. Wouldn't the two countries just get stronger if they unified? 

Look at Germany. I was talking with friends about this recently. I'm sure there are poor parts of Germany but, overall, I think it's safe to say that Germany is thriving. It's one of the strongest countries in Europe and the world and its government's voice has influence on the rest of the world. With the democratisation of the eastern part of the country came solidity and respect from the global community. Hope ensued as well. As a football fan, naturally it comes to mind immediately, but Germany hosted the World Cup in 2006. I believe FIFA, the world governing body of football, said it's the most successful (meaning in attendance and revenue and global participation) World Cup it has held. If the Koreas unified, they could accomplish things like this in addition to uniting families, gaining global respect and support (financial and  otherwise) and, more importantly, peace. Like I said, who really wants to be at risk of death and in conflict all the time? 

I don't know. For those of you who read this and possess far more intelligence and political science education than I do, I probably sound like a fool. And, perhaps, I am but these are my thoughts. If Korean unification is not a good thing, teach me why. With many Korean and Korean-American friends and as a Taekwondo student and teacher of more than twenty-six years, in a way, I feel a little Korean. So, when there's news of Korea I take an extra special look and pay a little more attention. The Koreas have a wonderful and storied history, amazing people, an intelligent and beautiful language, fantastic cuisine and culture. Let's not keep them apart. Let's put them together and make their history and future even more beautiful.

(I'll be putting this post through a translator program so I can post a Korean version in honour of my Korean friends. I just hope the program does an accurate job translating the text.)

Nabeel

I got some great news, which I look at as a brilliant Christmas present, the other day. I was at the grocery store when an email came in, which I was able to check while I was shopping (one reason to love smart phones), that made me giddy with excitement. It was from my best friend, Nabeel, and in it he said that he was in The Hamptons with his sister for the holidays and that he was free after the New Year before flying back home to Stuttgart. Yes, Germany. 

Nabeel and I became fast friends and close friends during my last two years of school in Hong Kong. He's Pakistani, from Bristol, and I think we were in the same English Lit and/or Geography set at Island School. We also lived close to one another. I was at the now leveled 21 Tung Shan Terrace on Stubbs Road and he was at Villa Monte Rosa a couple miles up the road, if you went by car, but only about a half mile or so walk if you cut behind Tung Shan Terrace and across Bowen Road.

After moving to America, before the mass use of email and the internet, Nabeel and I kept in touch with letters. As happens when you get older and busier, the letters slowed down and eventually ceased but we were always in touch via mutual friends who'd travel to the States or when I'd travel to England and visit my sister. When the internet and email exploded, we kept in touch that way but with both of us busy - on the phone today, I just found that he's only home something like three days a week traveling for work to Moscow, Köln, Vienna, you name it - our correspondence is irregular except on our birthdays and holidays. Nonetheless, when we do catch up, it feels like it always has and that no time has passed between us. 

With Facebook, although he's not on it, we manage to keep up with each other through mutual friends who are. And, thanks to all of this social networking and digital communication, Nabeel and I will be getting together tomorrow. Naturally, I am thrilled and counting down the hours. He and I have gone through a lot since we last saw each other in 1997 during the handover of Hong Kong back to China. We've experienced personal and professional ups and downs. I've gotten married and become a father.  We've talked about Jude being the next generation of Hong Konger, at least by blood or association anyway. 

Tomorrow, we'll catch up, reminisce, talk about what's to come and when we part I'll be happy but I'll also be sad. I'll feel emotions for the same reason. Nabeel and I are friends regardless but, as classmates do, he represents some of the best days of my life and reinforces the longing for those days or, at least, the feelings of those days. For those who know me, I've established a life here in America but I've never really felt like America is home. Hong Kong is. Always will be. I know we all have to move on in our lives but for nostalgia, history, not forgetting where I came from, remembering the 'good old times' I will never completely let go of Hong Kong and Nabeel is a huge part of my Hong Kong. I believe that wherever we would've met, Nabeel and I would've become the same fast and close friends that we are. Our friendship is extra special because it was forged in such a special place that Hong Kong is and a place that I call my home.

I have a brother but the way things in our lives developed we never became close. I love him because he's my brother but I don't know if I can call him 'my friend," if that makes any sense. Nabeel, in my heart, mind and soul is both friend and brother. I love him and I cherish our almost thirty year friendship. And I can't wait to see him tomorrow.

Christmas Day

Now that the holidays are over - well, not entirely; I just found out this morning that I don't have to report back to school until tomorrow - I can do my sum up of our festivities.

Christmas Day was exceptional. As I mentioned in a previous blog post, my wife and I bought some of Jude's presents at the Disney Store in NYC pre-Thanksgiving. He saw them and hugged them on the ride back to New Jersey on the train but we reinforced that he couldn't have them until Christmas because Santa had to put his magic on them. This worked and when we got home - thankfully he'd fallen asleep - we hid his toys.

Such is the amazing development of youth because he never forgot about them, as he's done with things when he was just a few months younger, and he always asked about them and when Santa was coming. So, on Christmas Eve, we got him to bed early, telling him that Santa couldn't come if he were still awake, and the next morning I got up early and placed the presents - all of them and not just the ones for him - under our tree. (There's something really cool and funny that I discovered when I'd gotten downstairs that I will blog about in my next post so keep tuned.) An hours or so later, I heard Jude and Guada stirring and Jude's voice. I couldn't make out what he'd said but I heard Guada say, "Let's see if Santa came."

The came down the stairs slowly, Jude leading the way but almost like he tiptoeing and trying to sneak up on someone. And, I think he was. As soon as he saw me on the sofa, he craned his neck left and right, while standing on the bottom step, looking beyond our tree and asked, "Where's Santa?" I guess he figured Santa was going to bring presents and stay and hang out with us. Now, how cool would that have been? Haha. I told him that Santa had to deliver other presents but that he'd come. To that, Jude came running around to the tree and exclaimed, smiling with his entire face, "Presents! Presents for me!"

One by one, we handed out the presents. The best part was, after Guada handed Jude his first present, Jude playing Santa. He made sure we all got a gift to open. Reading the tags, if we told him the present he was handing to us wasn't for us, he'd put it back and get another one. He even gave us presents of his to open, saying things like, "Now it's Daddy's turn. This is for Daddy" or "One present for Jude, one for Mommy, one for Daddy and one for Bauer (our dog)."

Seeing his delight touched Guada and I. I've written about this before but it bears repeating. It wasn't just his happiness at getting presents and presents he wanted that touched us. It was his innocence. The pure enjoyment of Christmas the way it should be celebrated by kids and even adults. The Bible says something about the childlike getting to Heaven. This is exactly what he was. And, as a child, he couldn't be anything but. However, by being patient and sharing the gifts and making sure everyone had something to open, Jude wasn't being childish and just storming through only his presents. Childlike and childish, after all, are two different things.

At church, too, he was amazing. He was so happy and singing the carols they played. Joanna, the NJ State Certified teacher at day care, did a great job with all the kids teaching them Christmas carols and Hanukkah songs. Jude knows so many of them that we can't help but be amazed when he chimes in when one of them comes up on the radio. After mass, we visited the Nativity and, thanks to my wife, he knew Papa Joseph, Mama Mary and Baby Jesus and he also knew that Christmas is Jesus' birthday. He also counted out the Three Kings.

As Jude gets older, he's going to become more aware and more knowledgeable and lose some of that innocence. He's also going to gain a greater appreciation of everything and love everything more. This was a fabulous Christmas in The Bas household and for that I am grateful. My wife and my son are my Christmas presents. 

In addition to Jude's joy, I got to see Guada's too. She's wanted an iPad for forever and I saved it for last, wrapping it in the superhero Christmas paper we'd bought to use for Jude's gifts. I tried to play it like in "A Christmas Story," when Ralph's dad points out the hidden gift in the corner, Ralph's coveted Red Rider BB Gun. I almost pulled it off. The iPad was stuck in the corner and it was the last gift but Jude got it, seeing the paper and thinking it was his. When I said it was for Mommy, he handed it to Guada. Watching her use her iPad for music she'll use at work, downloading books and checking her email and logging into Facebook is just like watching Jude play with his Cars 2 boat and cars: pure, unadulterated joy. 

I love Christmas and I like spreading it out from November to the Feast of the Three Kings. I'm not one of those guys who says Christmas should be all year and so on, although I do believe that joy should be. It's easier said than done but, as much as possible, it should be present in our lives. For us, it has been of late. 

Merry Christmas (belated for the day itself but not for the season) and may all your days be filled with joy and lots of it.

Christmas Tree

Our Christmas tree mission was a resounding success last Friday.

After work, I shot home, picked up my wife and we got Jude from day care. It was already cold and our favourite radio station is on 24-hour Christmas music so everything was ripe for our Christmas tree adventure. To top it off , we made a quick stop to Starbuck's for a couple of Peppermint Mochas.

With the exception of, I think, 1999 and 2003, I've always bought my tree from The Metropolitan Plant Exchange. It's close and they always have a good selection and there's always other neat holiday things on display uncluding poinsettias, inflatable yard displays, craved yard displays, an assortment of indoor and outdoor lights, you name it. When we pulled up, Jude said, "Oh my God" and screamed with elation when he saw the thirty foot tall inflatable Santa that stood at the shop's entrance. When he saw that he yelled, "A giant Santa Claus!"

On a budget, we went straight for the less expensive trees that would fit in our flat: 5-6 foot tall Douglas Firs. We examined the selection and found one that just right in terms of height and width. If you've ever gone to buy your own tree, you'll know that they slant when on the racks so you've got to lift it up and give it a spin to make sure it's nice all the way around. This one wasn't bad. Actually, it was good but my wife and I wanted to see if there was another one that might be a little fuller without overtaking our living room. That wasn't a good idea. As soon as I put down the tree we were examining and walked to another aisle with Guada, Jude started to cry. It wasn't a 'spoilt kid, give me what I want' cry. Rather, it was a 'Hey man, that tree is mine. I chose it so why are you putting it away?' You see, as soon as I'd picked it up, Jude was into it. He'd claimed the tree - he calls it his "My green. Like big one." - and anything else just wasn't going to be good enough. This, too, was his first time picking the tree; full of awareness of the season and what we were doing. His other Christmases here in New Jersey, he was less than one (2008) and he wasn't really aware of everythign yet (2009). 2010, we went to The Philippines and didn't do up a tree here.



Our tree



Just watching him, Guada and I melted. I picked him up and, with my other hand, held the top of the tree and spun it for him. I asked him if he liked it. He nodded, wiped his nose and was relieved that we were getting it. It's his, you see, and he chose it. It's special and, maybe, will be something he'll remember when he's older.

I ran into the store to check out some poinsettias when Guada and Jude had the tree tied onto the car. My wife told me that Jude was giddy watching the man from the store step onto the tires to lay the tree on top of the roof and tie it with his rope. Of the rope, Jude found a connection with the guy. At day care, they'd had a Wild West party and Jude was given a mini lasso as part of their festivities. Perefect! Oh yeah, and as we pulled out of the parking lot, Jude said goodbye to the giant Santa.

When we got home, wow! I ad to mount the tree in its stand, water it and then we put the lights and decorations on. If he was giddy with the tree being put on the car, he crazy loopy with the Winnie The Pooj decorations, his special Tow Mater ornament, the red Christmas ball,everything. The following morning, the first thing he said after waking was to put on the tree. Later that night, after 5:30pm anticipated mass, we attended the church's tree lighting. Again, Jude loved it but he was also defensive of his tree. He liked the one at church but said his is better.



Jude hanging an ornament



Guada and Jude with our tree



I've always loved Christmas but I'll admit as I've gotten older the season holds less of the carefree, childlike (not childish) joy it used to bring me. I guess that's normal as one gets older with other things to worry about than just what to get for whom and what ask for. However, through Jude, I'm enjoying Christmas with renewed childlike vigour and with an entirely different perspective - as a father who has traditions to pass on. This Christmas, starting with our tree, is going to be different. How, I am not entirely sure but I know it's going to stand out and mean a little more than some of the recent ones we've celebrated. What I do know is that it's all because of Jude.

Christmas Season

It's the holiday season. Everywhere I go, whether it's the supermarket or the mall or the gas station or the nearby Target, Christmas, Hannukah and Kwanzaa (although there's less obvious representation of Kwanzaa than the other two) is in your face. And, I love it! This is my favourite time of the year. I'm one of those nerds who can get in a mood in the sweltering humid summer months, think about the cool late autumn and early winter days, their sights and sounds and pop Christmas music - whether a CD or through my iPod - into my car and sing along with them. Sure, the Christmas season does have its stressors - getting things decorated nicely, buying all the presents, enduring all those unresolved issues from childhood, trying to avoid the annual holiday weight gain - but, overall, it's the best time of the year. Everyone is nice to one another, they're polite, generous, you name it. I wouldn't want Christmas to be all year long becaue that would diminish its meaning and I'm not going to be corny and say everyone should have Christmas spirit all the time but this is really a special time of year.

This was further brought home to me when we took our son to The Radio City Christmas Spectacular a couple of weeks ago. He's three and a half so he's more aware and articulate than ever and he's really becoming his own person. When we walked into the Music Hall he looked up, amidst the crowd of people - we'd literally just stepped into the main lobby - and said, "This is amazing!" Granted, The Radio City Music Hall is an amazing place. With its grand stairway, which one can imagine has seen its share of entertainment legends walk down it, brings one back to The Golden Era. The Hall's fantastically high ceiling is another impressive and intimdating sight; the kind of ceiling you don't see anymore. And, of course, there are the brightly coloured Christmas decorations. I like to think, though, that it wasn't just the spectacle that is The Music Hall that awed my son. I like to think it's the amazingness (is that a word?) that is Christmas. I'll admit that we did play up the show and we've been talking about Christmas and showing him ornaments, movies and other Christmas-themed things but if Christmas weren't brilliant by itself already I doubt I would feel the way I do and I don't think Jude would respond the way he does.

As far as the show went, he loved it. The next morning I asked if he'd dreamt about Santa and the kings and camels and the baby Jesus from the Nativity part of the show. He nodded that he did and then he asked about the "superhero green ones," referring to a new addition to the program. Obviously, he remembered the show - his memory and recollection of things from day-to-day and even of things from, say, a year ago has really skyrocketed - which brought warmth to my heart because, in addition to A Chorus Line, The Christmas Spectacular is one of my favourite shows I've ever seen. During the show, when The Rockettes were kicking up their heels, he turned to me and said, "I love Santa." It was so cute and touching and a memory I will not soon forget. He was sitting on my my lap,with his lighted spinning Wooden Soldier flashlight toy in hand, pressed against my chest.

The other day, though, was something else. After the sun set and dusk had turned into night, we hopped into my wife's car and drove through our town and the neighbouring towns to enjoy the different Christmas lights and other decorations people have put up. My wife and I would point them out. At first, Jude was smiling. Before leaving our house, he'd looked out the window and excitedly pointed out our neighbours' brightly lit tree outside their house.His smiling turned into nodding. Then he said, "Mommy, Daddy. What are we doing?" I couldn't help from laughing because, generally, I am the same way. I have a hard time just hanging out or just driving around. I need to have a purpose; getting somewhere for something then back home. So, when Jude said that, while I was a little disappointed that he didn't get excited about the lights the way my wife and I do, inside I had to say "That's my boy." Eventually, Jude fell asleep on the drive.

Today, we plan on getting Jude early from day care and getting our Christmas tree. We've talked about it all week so hopefully he'll be into it, enjoying the background Christmas music, the smell of fir trees and stadning toe-to-toe with lawn Santas, Snowmen and manger sets. I'll let you know how it goes in a future post. For now, enjoy all of your holiday festivities and decorating. And, even though there's still two weeks to go, Merry Christmas everyone.

Encouraging, I Suppose

Every now and then, usually after I post a new entry in this blog, I check my stats to see how many hits I've been getting, where they're coming from and so on. It's what we - bloggers and writers - do. I suppose there's a certain amount of vanity to it but there's also a sense of wanting to know who gives a you-know-what about what I have to say because it can have a bearing on who's going to go out and buy my novel when it comes out (which should be sooner than later). There's a certain validation too when I see my stats growing - as humble as they are - and to see that I have readers from places I'd never even thought I would to have them.

I suppose with the internet I shouldn't be completely surprised. After all, one can simply do a keyword search and come up with millions of links relating to that keyword. In fairness, I'm sure many of the hits I've gotten must be incidental ones; someone checking out my websites and this blog to see if it's what he or she is looking for and leaving when they discover it's not. However, as happens to me when I do a search, others may have stumbled upon my sites, gotten intrigued by them and stayed. Perhaps they even check them semi-regularly or bookmarked them.

It's just fascinating to me - and I'm grateful for it - that I've had hits from all over the world. I personally know three people in Germany and I have regular hits from there. I even have hits from India, Russia, Malaysia, Poland and Hungary. I don't know anyone in these countries so the hits from these places are from people who just like what I write. I'm getting regular multiples visits from some of these countries, which means they're regular readers.

I write about all of this because it tickles me. It shouldn't. After all, getting my work read is what this is all about but it's a hoot that strangers in places I've never even been to - not even made a transit stop in an aeroplane - have read my work. And for that I say thank you. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving and, in addition to my family, friends and the cool things that have happened this year (like winning a State Championship, getting my sixth degree black belt, coming tenth a the US National Taekwondo Championships, my novel getting closer to being published, my wife's parents' 50th wedding anniversary), I'm thankful for my readership. It's small, to be certain, but I have one. And for a writer, any readership is better than no readership.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Innocence Lost

I watch my son and he amazes me. I watch him play with his toys and see him make his superheroes fight and fly. I see him make his cars, bobble head Superman and my Chapstick have conversations about being best friends and having to fight the "bad guys." I watch him mimic my Taekwondo moves and his mother's dance moves and when we ask him if he wants to learn either, he simply says, "No. I want to fly." Then he proceeds to run, jump and land on one knee the way Robert Downey Iron Man does in the movies.

Recently, we were at The Disney Store in Manhattan where we picked up some Christmas presents, taking advantage of the sales and to have a family day out. I watched my son run around and look with desire at every Cars 2 toy and every Captain America doll and all the stuffed plush dolls of his favourite Disney characters - Mickey, Special Agent Oso, Buzz, Woody, Handy Manny, you name it.

Naturally, with lots going on and money being tight (when isn't it?), he ran around and looked at the toys with joy and wanted everything without concerning himself with how much things cost and what it means to wait, be patient and earn something. I wished then, as I always do, that I could get him whatever he wants whenever he wants it but I know that's not a possibility and that would, if I could do that, only spoil him. However, watching him was such a joy but it also broke my heart.

At his age - three and a half- of course he doesn't understand things about money and such. Of course that made me feel sad that I couldn't just get him everything. What really made me melt and broke my heart, though, was knowing that one day, when he's older, he will lose innocence and that the proverbial and not so proverbial, real life will catch up with him; that he will (have to) worry about money, patience, taking care of things and not just playing and laughing and having fun.

It's a shame that the purity and joy of the innocence we possessed as kids has to diminish, vanish even, as we get older. It disappears, too, not just with age but with experience and time. I look back at my Taekwondo life. As much as I love it still, and relish in the fact the I am not a novice anymore and can say that I am somewhat of an expert, there are times I miss when I didn't know so much and wasn't the teacher or highest ranking student in the class. I also miss the sights, sounds and smells of my early days living in America and the excitement and uncertainty that came with not knowing the place. Now, on some level, it all feels so 'old hat.' Just today, I was having a chat with one of my closest friends and we were talking about how long we've been doing what we do - teach - and how we're wiser and getting into the ranks of the older, longer serving staff members at our school.

I don't know about anyone else but, at 42, I feel that the last 26 years - the time I've lived in the United States - has flown by way too fast. At times it feels like I just landed at JFK and now I'm here, typing at my dining table in my Millburn rental. There are things I remember having done but I recall them happening at different times from when they actually happened. That's how fast and jumbled the years have snuck up on me. Sometimes I feel the time has been wasted. If not wasted, definitely lost. And with the lost time has come lost innocence and growing cynicism.

Thinking about my son and his joy at the Disney Store, I just hope and pray that we - my wife and I - can prepare him for the reality of what is to come and that, when he's 42, he can recall every moment of his life with a smile and that he never feels that his life has been wasted.