Managing Emotions

It's been about three weeks since the Writer's Digest Conference and Agent Pitch Slam and I hate to say it but the high from the experience is coming down. Before the conference I sent a dozen query letters out to agents. At the slam, I pitched six agents and they all requested material from me; two asked for the full manuscript.

Since then, I've received four rejections. It's expected, and only one of the rejections came from an agent I pitched face-to-face, but it's still a downer. I know getting published is a process in and of itself and it can take years from typing the first word of the novel to getting published. It took me seven years to write my novel from concept and all of its transformations to its final form. Since 2009, when I pitched two agents at the pitch slam at Book Expo America, I've been trying to get an agent. I didn't think I'd have much success then - they both asked for pages but politely decline and one of them said I could query her with future projects - but this time around the responses seemed so positive and excited that I can't from feel hopeful. And, when three agents said my novel sounds, in scope and feel, like Junot Diaz's Pulitzer Prize Winner The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, I couldn't help from feeling that I may actually be on to something.

I'm old enough and experienced enough - I had a screenplay in the late 1990s that garnered agent interest but, unfortunately, things didn't progress - to know not to get my hopes up and that these things take time and that not every agent will be right for my work but, I'll be honest, it's getting harder and harder to plod along and push through. I've entertained thoughts of self-publishing and calling it a day but, then, I know I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't see my writing pursuits through to the end. After all, I write not because I think I should or because it's a viable work or career opportunity. I write because, like many of us scribes, I have to.

I guess, as I get older, I'm feeling more pressure to have done something with my life; not that getting a Master's Degree, becoming a husband and father, becoming a Tae Kwon Do master, trying our for an Olympic team, being a stuntman in a commercial, and getting articles published and getting paid for them is having done nothing but there's still something lacking. It's more than a desire or a wish but something deeper. It's somethign I've always wanted - to do and become something bigger and more meaningful than I already am - but it's gotten stronger since becoming a father.

Anyway, if I was venting then I'm done. However, if anyone has input or tips to get through the waiting, I'd love to hear them. For now, I'll just wait and keep checking my email (something I probably shouldn't do but it's easy to do with the iPhone) and work on my next novel. Thanks for 'listening' and, for you fellow writers out there, happy writing and good luck.