Fathers and Sons and Martial Arts

My son is something else.

The past few months, Jude has come home from day care getting into martial arts stances and throwing kicks and punches in the air. I don't know where he got them. Perhaps there's an older kid there who's shown stuff to him and they play some kind of cops-and-robbers (as much as a less than three year old can) game or imagine themselves to be Batman or Spiderman or Iron Man or something. Either way, I was very impressed and even please, excited. As a 25 year student of martial arts, fourth degree Tae Kwon Do master and active instructor, seeing Jude kick, punch and kihap (kiai in Japanese) touched me and felt a little 'like father, like son" warmth.

Sometimes, however, he can take his kicks and punches too far. Once, the owner of the day care told me that Jude had hit another student. At home, he throws sidekicks at our dog. When he throws a tantrum, when it's bath time or bedtime, sometimes he  lashes out with hammerfist strikes. And this isn't just the random flailing of limbs. There's preparation, chambering of his weapon (arm or leg) and forceful execution.  To help him control his lashing out, I've taken to letting him hit the various kicking targets and shields I have at home and that I use in my Tae Kwon Do classes. I've also started to teach him some of the other martial arts moves that don't involve physical contant with another person.

Today, just before heading out for mass, I showed him how to get into an attention stance, how to bow and how to get into a ready position. He did them all and when I just wanted to watch and didn't bow he got annoyed and told me I had to. I counted out three kicks and he did them. After we bowed and finished. As we stepped outside and headed for the car for church, I decided to try something else as his mother had to go back inside to grab a jacket. I demonstrated some blocks and he mimicked, for lack of a better word, competently.

Maybe he's taken to martial arts, so far, with ease because of a genetic or hereditary component since I've been doing it for so long. When he was only a few months old, lying down on a bed, he brought his knee to his chest and extended his leg into a good sidekick with a pulled back foot. Maybe it's because his mother is an amazing athlete - a former ballet dancer and, now, Pilates and Gyrotonic instructor - who also finds it easy to perform many martial arts kicks and he got an abundance of her genetics.

I'll be fine if Jude never takes martial arts seriously but I'll be lying if I say I wouldn't be disappointed if he didn't try it at all. Really, I'd love for him to, at least, get his black belt. And, honestly, I wouldn't care what martial art he'd try as long as he honours, practices and shares its traditions. To be completely frank, I don't care what college or university he ends up attending. I wouldn't care if he attends at all as long as it's the right thing for him to be doing - or not doing. I, also, wouldn't care what kind of professions he pursues as long as he is happy doing it and that he gets some fulfillment and meaning out of it.

However, seeing Jude bow and kick and punch and get into his joombi, ready, stance I couldn't help from feeling that between us maybe the Bas family martial arts legacy may develop somehow.