Last year, I did a two-part
post on my birthday that looked back on my successes and failures of the
previous twelve months. Since turning forty - well, since my mid-thirties,
really - I've been looking back, taking strolls down memory lane, to see what
I've done, where I've been and how I've ended up where I am. In doing so,
I've tried to assess the things I've done well and succeeded in and the things
I've totally botched up and failed in and sometimes miserably.
So, turning forty-four a
week ago, I've been thinking about these things yet again. And, this year,
they're more impacting. I don't know if that is because my successes and
failures - particularly my failures - mean more because of my age. They
seem more depressing because, even though I'm still young, with every passing
year there's less time to turn those failures into successes. Perhaps, it's
because next year is the midpoint year of my fifth decade and I'm feeling
pressure to have made an impact on this world in a small or - why not? - large
way. I remember how glum I was turning forty. I can only speculate that
turning forty-five on 31 January, 2014 isn't exactly going to be any better.
The following May, my wife and I will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary.
So, next year, is a big year for us. But that's next year. This year is still
young and will, hopefully, see more successes than failures.
In the meantime, though,
here's a look back on 2012.
January -
2012 was, in the Chinese
Lunar Calendar, the Year of the Dragon. The dragon, the animal in Chinese
mythology that represents the highest ideals, made 2012 a year full of optimism
and bullishness. And, things looked that way for me. In the year's first
month, I reconnected with a former student - someone I hadn't see or been in
touch with since 1999 - and he became a major help in the promotion of my book.
Ryan, my former student, is now a successful boxing pundit who lives half the
year in New York and half the year in Manila. Yes, he's Fil-Am like I am.
Funnily, reconnecting with him also saw me reconnecting with another Filipino
writer, Carissa Villacorta. In 2006, Carissa and I connected via email about
her book, Serendipity. It was by
chance, in casual conversation, when I discovered that Ryan and Carissa are an
item. So, 2012 was looking up. Connecting with fellow Filipino-American writers
boosted my excitement that 2012 was going to be a good year for me as a
writer.
February -
My writing took a boost in
February when my debut novel, Back Kicks And Broken Promises, came out. Naturally, and I'm sure my fellow
writers, especially the indie authors, will relate to how I checked my book's
sales ranks in every outlet that was carrying it. I was very excited to find
out that W. H. Smith, England's Barnes And Noble, had it in its database. I was
equally excited - and very pleasantly surprised - to discover that an outlet in
India is selling my book, too! (Now, if I can only get it to stores - even
if just online - in The
Philippines and Hong Kong (where I was born and where I grew up and call home,
respectively) I'll be really happy.
February was extra special
because my niece from England, my eldest sister's daughter, came to visit us.
It was her first time in America and she'd come for a dance show/audition being
given by a K-Pop group. During my niece's week with us, Legend and Prodigy author, Marie Lu, with writers Beth Revis, Jessica Spottswood and Andrea
Cremer gave a reading and Q&A in New York. Having just finished reading Legend, and loving it, I HAD to go. And I did, bringing my
wife, son and niece with me. Before going, Marie and I had exchanged some
tweets and, when I got to meet her, it was with a sense that she knew who I was
or, at least, recgonised my name. Naturally, that made me feel great but it
also made me feel a part of the larger writing community. Like a dope, I'd
forgotten to bring a copy of my book with me. It wasn't until I was on the
train that I realised I'd left it at home. I think, subconsciously, I didn't
want to appear presumptuous but I felt instant regret, and anger at myself for
not bringing my book, when Marie asked if I had a copy. Argh! Despite that, it
was a great night.
While not wanting to be
pushy by bringing my book, perhaps I was too pushy in trying to get my book
into a couple of stores. Or, maybe, because it's indie-published it was doomed
from getting onto a bookshelf from the start. I'd made contact with a couple of
local bookstores and they said they'd love to carry my book, especially since
I'm local; my book is set in New Jersey, etc. Well, as you can imagine, my book
never got on any of their shelves; although I do know of some people who've
ordered it from them.
February saw me do my first
two author interviews. One was for The Filipino Reporter by my friend (and former student) Ryan. The other
was via email for The Manila Bulletin. The Bulletin interview was extra special because that newspaper, the
largest daily in The Philippines, came to me. It was until recently that I
found out they were alerted to my book by dad, who’s the Managing Editor on The
Manila Times, another daily
newspaper in The Philippines.
March -
As far as my writing life,
March was a pretty quiet month. I spent more time trying to promote my work
then create new stuff. And, hindsight being twenty-twenty, I think that was
okay. Like marathoners who crash, emotionally as well as physically, at the
conclusion of their race, I crashed after Back Kicks came out. From start to finish, I'd spent almost ten
years on it. Intuitively, as much as I wanted to write, I was struggling to do
put anything down. Eventually, I would give a go at adapting one of my
screenplays into a novel - a project I've put on the side for now while I
finish revisions on my second novel, Sage Of Heaven.
So, for March, the big
things were my defense of the New Jersey State Taekwondo title I'd won in 2011
and my return to running, in the hope that I would get into the NY City
Marathon via its lottery system.
April -
Good Friday was a big day
for me. April 5, 2012. I'd seen my name in print before but that was
for articles I'd written for various martial arts magazines. This time,
though, my name was in the paper - The Filipino Reporter - in the article Ryan had written. When I opened the
issue and saw my picture and read the piece, I recall my heart was racing. Yes,
I was excited but there was also a touch of nervousness and trepidation running
through me. Other than tweeting about my book and offering a giveaway through
Goodreads, this was the first time - and, at this point - the largest exposure
my book was getting. While one part of me hoped and prayed that the piece would
yield mega book sales, the other part feared rejection and being called a
'fraud' as a writer and as a Filipino-American writer. (Click here
for the article.)
At around the same time,
I'd gotten a rejection letter from Barnes and Noble about carrying my book on
its shelves. I'd expected as much, since my book is indie-published and POD at
that, but the retailer's rejection only exacerbated the insecurities I'd felt
about being accepted into the Filipino-American community as one of its
literary voices of the current generation.
As a martial artist, who
calls Hong Kong home, the one thing that, as silly as this is going to sound,
made me feel really good about the article was my name being used in the same
sentence (when read, said with the same breath) as Bruce Lee. And, not only are
our names said with the same breath, they're used in the same context. I'm no
way the quality of martial artist that Bruce Lee was but, perhaps, because of
the contextual similarity, I may possess some of the qualities of the kind of man
and Asian-American man, he was.
While there was this
martial arts related joy, there was martial art related sadness too. The
Taekwondo classes I had been teaching were ended due to lack of enrollment due
to a variety of factors. The bottom line, though, was that my second go around
at being the master of my own program failed. At least this time, I didn't have
my own commercial space and the headache that comes with giving that up. It
also, however, means that my son will probably have to learn from another
master and my hope and dream of him carrying on the Bas Taekwondo tradition, in
the old way of passing lessons down from father to son, is not likely going to
happen. It doesn't look like we're going to go the way of Al and Mark Dacascos,
Ernie Reyes, senior and junior, Ed Parker and his son, Tiger Kim and his sons,
and other father-son martial arts dynasties.
April 25 was another big
day for me as I was accepted into the NYC Marathon. That would determine a lot
in the upcoming months. Some of it good, some of it not so good.
May -
Ryan and Carissa came to
New York in May and we got together for a dim sum meal in Chinatown, NYC. It
was great to see Ryan again, for the first time since 2000! And, it was super
nice to meet Carissa in person. Getting to spend time with them, talking about
the Philippines and writing, was a thrill; probably more than they are aware.
Ryan is a renowned boxing journalist. Carissa is a respected and known writer
and PR professional. I consider both of them friends first but, because of who
they are and what they've achieved, and me knowing them personally, there's a
certain validation to my identity as a writer. Slowly, with each connection I
make, post-publishing my book, I feel like I'm getting deeper into the writing
community.
May also saw the interview
I did with The Manila Bulletin come
out (click here
for the article.) and I did my third interview, this time for Hyphen Magazine.
That interview just came out in Issue 26 (January 2013) and I was one of
several authors questioned about being a self-published Asian-American author,
the state of publishing and Asian-American representation in popular
literature. The editor at Hyphen
who wrote the article, books editor Abi Licad, also assigned my book for
review. So, all in all, May was a big month for me and Back Kicks And Broken
Promises.
June, July, August
-
These were fairly light
months all around. That's what the summer is for, anyway, right?
As far as writing goes, it
was this time that I returned to putting pen to paper full-time, so to speak. I
began adapting my screenplay Aliens Among Us into a novel but I still haven't finished. I was also
rereading Back Kicks to make revisions, additions and correct the typos
I'd discovered. (That, in and of itself, is something I'm going to write about
in my next blog post.)
The summer also saw the US
National Taekwondo Championships take place - this time in Dallas - but I
wasn't able to go. I was hoping to go and try to better my tenth place finish
in 2011. Maybe I'll get to try, this year, in Chicago, instead.
We did get to have a
mini-vacation on Long Island again. My wife's friend has a place in Montauk and
we were able to use it for a few days. What was really exciting, as a dad, was
to see how my son reacted to being there again. We'd gone in 2010 and Jude
seemed to remember some of the places we visited, even one of the beaches. He
even got braver with the water, venturing closer to it and even getting in it
without insisting on our help. In fact, there were times when we wouldn't let
him because the waves were too strong and, without our support, he'd have
gotten sucked out. These trips - to the beach, to Manila, excursions across the
country for Taekwondo events - are so good for him that I can't express with
enough gratitude for my wife's friend's generosity.
September -
School's back in session and so is the volleyball season (I'm our high school's head coach) and we had the best season since I've been involved with the program. Not a lot of writing got down during September and October but the review of my book, in Hyphen, came out. It was another one of those good days turned to sour, in a way.
It was September 27 and I'd
arrived home from a volleyball match. We'd won, to go 6-3 for the season and we
were on a five-match winning streak. So, naturally, I was on a high. After
reporting the match to the newspaper and updating the girls stats in various
volleyball website, I checked to see if the review had come out. And it had.
The reviewer gave it his opinion and I appreciate him for it. And, someone did
remind me that it's the reviewer's opinion and just one opinion, at that. Other
than this, I'd gotten some really good comments for Back Kicks. Regardless, it still stung. It wasn't a scathing
review. In fact, the reviewer, G. Justin Hulog, did have some praise for parts
of my book. (Click here
to read it.) It wasn't a raving review either. I quickly consoled myself by
recalling a couple of things I'd been told before: "All press, even bad
press, is good press" and "Being talked about negatively is better
than not being talked about at all." I don't know if I believe either of
these things wholeheartedly but when you're trying to market something there
might be some truth to them.
October and November -
What a mess this month was
with Hurricane Sandy hitting New Jersey, New York and other parts of the
eastern United States. In a way, though, the effects of Sandy, which weren't
too bad for me personally, were great for my writing. We didn't get flooded but
we did lose power. With no TV watch and, with the gas shortage and rationing,
no place to go, I relied on hanging with my family, reading and writing to pass
the time. After attending mass, I discovered that the church had opened its
hall for residents to charge devices, use the internet, etc. Well, we were
there and I wrote. And it was perfect, too, because I decided to enter the
NaNoWriMo challenge to finish writing a novel, of at least 50,000 words, in the
thirty days of November. And I did it. There are revisions to be done, which I
am doing now, but I managed the first draft in the month. (Click here for more on NaNoWriMo). So, in the
'take the good from the bad' frame of mind, Hurricane Sandy was the boost my
writing endeavours needed.
As a result of Sandy, I
didn't get to run the NYC Marathon because it was cancelled but I was okay with
that. I felt it should've been cancelled in light of the devastation the storm
caused and where it hit hard (parts of the marathon course). Others disagree,
but I think it would've been in poor taste to run the race and, thanks to the
storm, I wasn't in the right mind to run it.
Writer's Digest has its
Self-Published Book Awards every year. Entry is in May and, in October, they
notify entrants whether they won or not and they give all entrants
feedback. I didn't win, place or get any kind of honourable mention but I
did get some praise and, more importantly, constructive feedback for future
books I write, regardless of whether I indie pub or not.
Lastly, in these months, my
son saw his first Broadway show (Peter and the Star-Catcher) and I came to realise how much I love Thanksgiving.
Christmas is still my favourite holiday but there's something special about
Thanksgiving that makes it a close second. Watching the Macy's Parade with my
family, the lead-up to the holiday season proper holds a special place in my
heart. I find it a little curious that Thanksgiving holds such a special place
in my heart considering I didn't have it growing up in Hong Kong. While many
immigrants hold on, sometimes illogically to things from home or their past,
just because they're from home, I've taken to Thanksgiving like I've always had
it. There could be a story here. Hmm.
December -
And, finally, it's December.
Not much happened except for our early Christmas in New Jersey and our trip for
Christmas to Manila. Busy popping from one place to another to see various
family and friends, I didn't get much writing done - other than a few blog
posts - but I did get to marvel at my son. I'm not the 'gushing dad' type but
it was great to see Jude try Hot Chocolate for the first time. He's become an
ube ice cream fan (just like his dad) and he watched his first Filipino movie
in the theatre. While he didn't understand the Tagalog (I barely did), he got
the entire story, has become enthralled with the Filipino superheroes in it and
he's starting to appreciate his Filipino-ness.
And, with our layover in
Hong Kong, he's coming to understand that his mother and I have interesting
backgrounds and that there's this really amazing and interesting place, called
The World, outside of New Jersey. As he puts it, "Daddy, when you were a
kid, your world was Hong Kong. Mommy's world was Manila and my world is New
Jersey."
So, those were the
highlights for me in 2012. Some of you may have found it boring and a complete
waste of time reading it. For that, sorry. Some of you may have found some
entertainment in it. Others, maybe, found something useful - a tidbit about
Taekwondo or indie-publishing, perhaps. Either way, whether you're forty-four,
twenty-four or ninety-four, it's always good to look back. It helps you assess
where you want to go and how to get there. It helps you appreciate where you've
been. And, as a writer, it can serve as good writing material. But, most of
all, it helps you appreciate who you are and who you want to be. And, without
that, all of the outside stuff has no meaning.
Thanks for stopping by and,
as Chinese New Year approaches, best wishes for 2013 and Gung Hei Fat Choi!
