It's been a long time since I last posted and I say that honestly, having let time slip by without even realising it. So, I'm back and I promise to be more diligent about keeping my posts ongoing and regular.
So, what's happened since 'Christmas in July?'
For one, I had my first experience playing single dad last month when my wife flew to The Philippines to attend her parents' Golden Anniversary celebrations. Jude and I would have gone too but it just wasn't financial feasible for all of us to make it. Regardless of our absence, from the stories Guada told and the pictures and videos she's shown us, they all had a great time and really cherished the meaning of fifty years together.
As for Jude and I, it was also a celebration of sorts. Naturally, we both missed Guada (and she missed us, too), but we she and I got to experience some quality alone time. She broke down in tears when we met her at JFK upon her return and she said the early days apart were the hardest but there was also an escape from the daily grind to catch up with who she is and to reconnect with Guada as an individual human being.
Jude and I, I suppose, did the same thing and we had some serious father-son bonding moments. A day at the pool at the gym, an afternoon of football (soccer) in the park, seeing The Smurfs movie together, watching the pilot movie of the old Batman series starring Adam West and Burt Ward (which Jude loves and still asks to watch now and again...thank God for DVR!) and just simply getting an appreciation for each other.
Funnily - and I'm not saying I'm a candidate for Parent of the Year or an advocate for single parenthood - but with Guada away, Jude and I were able to establish a schedule that worked like a Swiss timepiece. Naturally, it's easier to have someone else around - my wife - to share the load and hand Jude off to when I need 'my' time. However, with just the two of us, we managed a routine that was easy to follow, saw lots of laughs, was very productive and oozed with quality and closeness like I've never known before.
In fairness, we were without Guada for only ten days but it was a good test and experience and, to be completely honest, one that I thoroughly enjoyed. Would I hope she travels more often and for longer durations? No. I'd miss her, Jude would miss her and that isn't any way, in my opinion, to be a family. People, though, do need their own time and to have their own way of doing things and to be reminded and even remind others that, no matter what our state in life is and the kinds of relationships we are involved in (husband-wife, parent-child, etc), we are all still individuals and it is a specific combination of individuals that makes a given collective.
About Me
- Juan Rader Bas
- Mabuhay! I'm an Asian American writer (Back Kicks And Broken Promises, Abbott Press, 2012), martial artist and teacher who was born in The Philippines, raised in Hong Kong and ended up in New Jersey.
11 September, 2011
22 July, 2011
Christmas in July
What is it about the summer months that makes me think of and long for the cooler days of autumn and winter (I said cooler and not cold)? Sure, it's hot and humid in June, July and August but I think my feelings for the cooler months has to do with more than wanting relief from the scorching temperatures like our current heat wave.
Every year, around this time, I get a yearning for putting on sweatshirts, smelling freshly fallen leaves (although I don't look forward to raking them into lawn bags and blowing out from under the back stairs of my home and from between bushes that line the driveway) and hearing the sounds of jingle bells and holiday songs. Is it because there's a certain monotony to the summer? Is it because I just love the holiday season? I really can't tell you. I've been like this since I was a kid.
I suspect that, while I'm not unhappy in the summer, I've had some of my happiest times during the cooler months - "Legendary Weekends" with Ian, being fit and training for The Disney World Marathon, taking writing classes in NYC and watching the days get shorter and the night get cooler, making fires from kindling picked from fallen branches in my yard, watching The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade and getting revved up for Christmas - and perhaps my yearning for the holiday time of year has to do with holding on to the past and trying to relive some former joy or some long forgotten glory. I don't know.
I bring this up in my blog because I wonder if anyone else gets a feeling for the fall, winter and the holidays during the summer like this. If you do,write a comment or go to website (filamkickingscribe.com) and shoot me a message.
I hope everyone's getting through our heat wave. Getting into my car after watching "Friends With Benefits" with my wife, my car's thermostat read 103 degrees Fahrenheit/37 degrees Celsius. My wife called the heat "oppressive," which is the best way to describe it. Anyway, while it may be 103 outside, I hope the talk of fall and winter has provided some kind of psychological relief.
Thanks for stopping by. I look forward to hearing from you.
Every year, around this time, I get a yearning for putting on sweatshirts, smelling freshly fallen leaves (although I don't look forward to raking them into lawn bags and blowing out from under the back stairs of my home and from between bushes that line the driveway) and hearing the sounds of jingle bells and holiday songs. Is it because there's a certain monotony to the summer? Is it because I just love the holiday season? I really can't tell you. I've been like this since I was a kid.
I suspect that, while I'm not unhappy in the summer, I've had some of my happiest times during the cooler months - "Legendary Weekends" with Ian, being fit and training for The Disney World Marathon, taking writing classes in NYC and watching the days get shorter and the night get cooler, making fires from kindling picked from fallen branches in my yard, watching The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade and getting revved up for Christmas - and perhaps my yearning for the holiday time of year has to do with holding on to the past and trying to relive some former joy or some long forgotten glory. I don't know.
I bring this up in my blog because I wonder if anyone else gets a feeling for the fall, winter and the holidays during the summer like this. If you do,write a comment or go to website (filamkickingscribe.com) and shoot me a message.
I hope everyone's getting through our heat wave. Getting into my car after watching "Friends With Benefits" with my wife, my car's thermostat read 103 degrees Fahrenheit/37 degrees Celsius. My wife called the heat "oppressive," which is the best way to describe it. Anyway, while it may be 103 outside, I hope the talk of fall and winter has provided some kind of psychological relief.
Thanks for stopping by. I look forward to hearing from you.
16 July, 2011
Underwear
My son started going without diapers this week.
And I'll admit that that the first time he peed and pooed in our toilet made my eyes well up with tears. He did both sitting down, which I'm told is normal for peeing and something he will eventually outgrow, but it was so cool and touching to see my little boy growing up. For those of you who are parents and have gone through this or are going through this, you'll get it when I say that hearing his poo plop into the bowl elicited warm feelings of pride and even triumph. And, when he got off the toilet, to see a solid poo at the bottom of the bowl made me feel "WOW!"
This may be too much information for some of you but, like I said, those of who you've gone through this or are going through this with your own kids you'll relate. Funnier still, everyone we ran into on the first day of underwear use, my son would tell everyone, "I have underwear" and proceed to stick his rear end out. With one of my wife's clients, who ran across us at the local - and our favourite - Italian restaurant and pizzeria - he went so far as to pull his shorts down to reveal the cutest "The Incredibles" briefs.
I can't recall when I went through all of this potty training. I don't know if I should be able to. Was I too young? Will Jude remember all of this? Actually, I hope he does and he takes those fun memories of learning and accomplishing, the sense of pride and the laughs we shared as I tries to clean himself with him as he remembers his parents, after we're long gone, and when he is in this stage with his own children.
Parenting sure has its challenges but it also has its great rewards. When I became a parent and held my son in one hand, yes, I made promises to him and I envisioned his achievements and his successes and the pride I'd feel for him. I just imagined those things to be in academia and/or in entertainment and/or in the arts and/or in sports and the list could go on. I never considered I'd feel those things with the everyday and mundane things of his life.
Maybe that's what being a parent is. Maybe that's what unconditional love is. I don't know. I just know I'm proud. God! What am I going to do when ties his own shoes or combs his own hair?
And I'll admit that that the first time he peed and pooed in our toilet made my eyes well up with tears. He did both sitting down, which I'm told is normal for peeing and something he will eventually outgrow, but it was so cool and touching to see my little boy growing up. For those of you who are parents and have gone through this or are going through this, you'll get it when I say that hearing his poo plop into the bowl elicited warm feelings of pride and even triumph. And, when he got off the toilet, to see a solid poo at the bottom of the bowl made me feel "WOW!"
This may be too much information for some of you but, like I said, those of who you've gone through this or are going through this with your own kids you'll relate. Funnier still, everyone we ran into on the first day of underwear use, my son would tell everyone, "I have underwear" and proceed to stick his rear end out. With one of my wife's clients, who ran across us at the local - and our favourite - Italian restaurant and pizzeria - he went so far as to pull his shorts down to reveal the cutest "The Incredibles" briefs.
I can't recall when I went through all of this potty training. I don't know if I should be able to. Was I too young? Will Jude remember all of this? Actually, I hope he does and he takes those fun memories of learning and accomplishing, the sense of pride and the laughs we shared as I tries to clean himself with him as he remembers his parents, after we're long gone, and when he is in this stage with his own children.
Parenting sure has its challenges but it also has its great rewards. When I became a parent and held my son in one hand, yes, I made promises to him and I envisioned his achievements and his successes and the pride I'd feel for him. I just imagined those things to be in academia and/or in entertainment and/or in the arts and/or in sports and the list could go on. I never considered I'd feel those things with the everyday and mundane things of his life.
Maybe that's what being a parent is. Maybe that's what unconditional love is. I don't know. I just know I'm proud. God! What am I going to do when ties his own shoes or combs his own hair?
08 July, 2011
US Taekwondo National Championships
Hi everyone. It's been a week or so since I last posted anything. I'm working on my reflections on my Taekwondo year so far about how I've gotten back into it heavily and how so many things have happened and how they happened. When it's done, I may try to sell it to, say, Taekwondo Times Magazine or I may just post it here. While I'm working on it, though, I thought I'd share this link for you. It's a brief report, in the online edition of The News-Record of South Orange and Maplewood on how I did at the national championships.
http://www.maplewoodnavigator.com/profiles/blogs/maplewood-teacher-takes-10th
Enjoy and 'see' you soon.
Juan
http://www.maplewoodnavigator.com/profiles/blogs/maplewood-teacher-takes-10th
Enjoy and 'see' you soon.
Juan
27 June, 2011
Support Crew
We - my wife, son and I - leave for San Jose in two days for the US Taekwondo National Championships. I willbe competing in the 1st Male Masters Division, for black belt men aged between 41-50. I don't know how good a chance I have of advancing to the next round or even placing for a medal on the winners' podium but I do feel better prepared this time around than I did at the US Team Trials in May.
For one thing, I've seen the process and felt the environment. One time on this advanced level doesn't make me a pro or anything close but I do feel that I understand the set up better and I know what to expect. I also have a better idea of what the judges are looking for. That, along with the training I got at the recent poomsae (forms) seminar I attended, have allowed me to train and prepare better. I feel that my forms are more current and I know better how each element should look in sport poomsae. I've also gotten into better shape. I've lost a few pounds but, while I still want to lose a load more and get into my pre-married shape, more that that my body seems to have undergone a shape shift of some kind. I look and feel leaner, clothes and my dobok (uniforms) fit better and my flexibility has improved.
That's my physical training. In addition to that, there is my team and, first and foremost, are my wife and son. My wife watched the entire poomsae seminar from outside and took pictures and filmed videos of the instructor. As a result of that, she's been my eyes and, essentially, my coach. She's very kind and flattering, too. She's been saying that my forms now "look like those of the Olympians." There isn't Olympic Forms competition (yet) but I know what she means. I don't know if she truly believes what she's saying but is's nice to hear. She's, also, been trying to get me to get all negative thoughts out of my mind. As an athlete and martial artist, I know that to rid myself of doubt is crucial. And, for the most part, I've done so. It's just that I have a more realistic approach. My chances, while legitimate, are slim that I would make any kind of noise at The National Championship. Whatever the outcome of the tournament, she's been a great source of encouragement and she has a gifted technical eye (coming from years of professional ballet and analysing technique and performance).
My son is the other part of the 'first and foremost' part of my team. He's gotten to a point of his development where he understands what Taekwondo is (something special that his dad and mum do) so his awareness has driven me to do my best for him to see, learn from and, even, emulate.
The other crucial parts of my team are my Taekwondo students. They've also been very encouraging. I teach them, as it is, so I might as well perform for them too. Naturally, there are various friends in different circles who have asked about my preparation, wished me luck and said I'm going to do well.
Lastly, there are the masters and other athletes I've met through the training sessions I participated in with the New Jersey USA Taekwondo team, especially GrandmasterYoo, Master Kwon and the kids I've helped train for their poomsae contests.
I thank all of my support crew. Without each and everyone of them, my foray back into fulltime Taekwondo teaching and training wouldn't have been a successful one. Regardless of the outcomes next Saturday, I'll be able to say I competed at Nationals. It's going to be a fun and exciting experience. Hopefully, I can turn all of that fun and excitement into gold.
For one thing, I've seen the process and felt the environment. One time on this advanced level doesn't make me a pro or anything close but I do feel that I understand the set up better and I know what to expect. I also have a better idea of what the judges are looking for. That, along with the training I got at the recent poomsae (forms) seminar I attended, have allowed me to train and prepare better. I feel that my forms are more current and I know better how each element should look in sport poomsae. I've also gotten into better shape. I've lost a few pounds but, while I still want to lose a load more and get into my pre-married shape, more that that my body seems to have undergone a shape shift of some kind. I look and feel leaner, clothes and my dobok (uniforms) fit better and my flexibility has improved.
That's my physical training. In addition to that, there is my team and, first and foremost, are my wife and son. My wife watched the entire poomsae seminar from outside and took pictures and filmed videos of the instructor. As a result of that, she's been my eyes and, essentially, my coach. She's very kind and flattering, too. She's been saying that my forms now "look like those of the Olympians." There isn't Olympic Forms competition (yet) but I know what she means. I don't know if she truly believes what she's saying but is's nice to hear. She's, also, been trying to get me to get all negative thoughts out of my mind. As an athlete and martial artist, I know that to rid myself of doubt is crucial. And, for the most part, I've done so. It's just that I have a more realistic approach. My chances, while legitimate, are slim that I would make any kind of noise at The National Championship. Whatever the outcome of the tournament, she's been a great source of encouragement and she has a gifted technical eye (coming from years of professional ballet and analysing technique and performance).
My son is the other part of the 'first and foremost' part of my team. He's gotten to a point of his development where he understands what Taekwondo is (something special that his dad and mum do) so his awareness has driven me to do my best for him to see, learn from and, even, emulate.
The other crucial parts of my team are my Taekwondo students. They've also been very encouraging. I teach them, as it is, so I might as well perform for them too. Naturally, there are various friends in different circles who have asked about my preparation, wished me luck and said I'm going to do well.
Lastly, there are the masters and other athletes I've met through the training sessions I participated in with the New Jersey USA Taekwondo team, especially GrandmasterYoo, Master Kwon and the kids I've helped train for their poomsae contests.
I thank all of my support crew. Without each and everyone of them, my foray back into fulltime Taekwondo teaching and training wouldn't have been a successful one. Regardless of the outcomes next Saturday, I'll be able to say I competed at Nationals. It's going to be a fun and exciting experience. Hopefully, I can turn all of that fun and excitement into gold.
17 June, 2011
Promotion to Sixth Dan
Hi. How time flies. It's been a while since I posted anything - although it feels like I just posted the blog about my son - and I will post something new soon. I promise. In the meantime, here's a link to my latest Taekwondo adventure. I'll write more about it soon, as well as things like the coming summer holiday season, the end of the school year, etc, but for now enjoy this piece.
http://www.maplewoodnavigator.com/profiles/blogs/maplewood-teacher-bas-earns
http://www.maplewoodnavigator.com/profiles/blogs/maplewood-teacher-bas-earns
03 June, 2011
The Next Generation
There are many things in life that I want and hope for. To get my novel, Back Kicks And Broken Promises, published is one of them. To get back into shape and live a healthier and fitter life is another one. For Arsenal to win the Premier League and, even, the Champions' League is up on my list, too. But, really high up there is for my son to show some interest in martial arts. Maybe he'll never get as into it as I am. Maybe he'll never get his yellow belt, let alone a black one. If he tries martial arts though - the syle doesn't matter even though I am a longtime and committed Taekwondoist - that'll be good enough.
Well, things looked up in that regard the other night. Two nights ago, as a matter of fact. And it touched me so deeply that, literally, I almost lost it like a babbling infant. However, in warrior and true Bas fashion, I kept my emotions in check. Here's what happened:
As you may know, if you've been following my blog, I've been teaching Taekwondo again since January. I also competed in and won my poomsae (forms) division at the NJ State Taekwondo Championships and I competed in the 2011 USA Poomsae Team Trials. I'm also slated to participate in an all day (8am-8pm) Poomsae Seminar and test for my 6th dan, right after the seminar, next weekend. Lastly, for this year anyway, I'm going to compete at the US National Championships in July. After all of this, it'll be back to a quiet Taekwondo life of teaching and training without any of the big events.
Well, after winning States and qualifying for Team Trials and Nationals, my wife and I talked and we decided I had to pursue them. "Once in a lifetime opportunities" we said. I also decided that I would aggressively participate in these events for our son. Yes, I want my 6th dan and I'd love to have made the US Team that's going to Russia in July for The World Poomsae Championships and I'd love to be able to say I'm a national champion. I'm not going to lie and pretend none of that matters to me. However, what's really pushing me on is Jude. I want him to be exposed to all of this and to know about the culure of martial arts. Martial arts, after all, are what made - and continues to make - me who I am today. It would also be good for him to see his dad working hard and striving to achieve something; examples he can take with him in whatever he does. It'll also be cool for him to say that his dad competed at such a high level and, God willing, if I do well or win, be able to say something like, "My dad is a national champion." Haha.
So, throughout all of this, Jude has seen me teach and train. He's also seen his mother train, get her yellow belt and compete and win. Naturally, running a dojang (training hall), I've had to order equipment and uniforms. I should say, also, that last Halloween we got Jude his own dobok (uniform) that he could wear for trick or treating but with the hope that one day he will actually wear it for class. Well, the uniform was too big (it still is) so he ended up being Buzz Lightyear instead. And that was okay because he LOVES Toy Story and Buzz.
Okay, so here's the main event. Last Wednesday, one of my orders arrived with a uniform in it. I tried it on and took it off. Jude said, "Too big, daddy?" I told him it was fine and fit right. He then said he wanted his "Small Taekwondo." Guada and I melted. We brought him upstairs, Guada bathed him and we suited him up, belt and all. Then, we went back downstairs and he did some kicks and punches on a sheet of kicking film (before they actually made kicking film we just used to hit old x-rays). Some months ago, I'd already taught him charyut (attention), kungyet (bow) and joombi (ready). He did all of this on his own, in between kicks and punches, and at the end we shook hands just as if we were in a dojang and class was ending.
Seeing him kick and punch, bow and stand ready, I couldn't help from feel my heart melting. Every father wants his son or daughter to like the things he likes and pursue them. I think it's safe to say that. I'm not any different. However, it was extra rewarding because, like I said, I've gotten back into fulltime Taekwondo aggressively for him and to see him respond to it like this makes everything worth it. I hope he continues to show interest and age three is a good age to start. I just have to be careful to let him do it as he wants to and not push it and to allow him to do other things.
If he never gets his black belt, that's okay and perhaps martial arts isn't his thing. Seeing him the other night, though, and with the continued exposure he's going to get, I beg (and hope) to differ. We could be seeing the beginning of a Bas Taekwondo dynasty. Haha.
Well, things looked up in that regard the other night. Two nights ago, as a matter of fact. And it touched me so deeply that, literally, I almost lost it like a babbling infant. However, in warrior and true Bas fashion, I kept my emotions in check. Here's what happened:
As you may know, if you've been following my blog, I've been teaching Taekwondo again since January. I also competed in and won my poomsae (forms) division at the NJ State Taekwondo Championships and I competed in the 2011 USA Poomsae Team Trials. I'm also slated to participate in an all day (8am-8pm) Poomsae Seminar and test for my 6th dan, right after the seminar, next weekend. Lastly, for this year anyway, I'm going to compete at the US National Championships in July. After all of this, it'll be back to a quiet Taekwondo life of teaching and training without any of the big events.
Well, after winning States and qualifying for Team Trials and Nationals, my wife and I talked and we decided I had to pursue them. "Once in a lifetime opportunities" we said. I also decided that I would aggressively participate in these events for our son. Yes, I want my 6th dan and I'd love to have made the US Team that's going to Russia in July for The World Poomsae Championships and I'd love to be able to say I'm a national champion. I'm not going to lie and pretend none of that matters to me. However, what's really pushing me on is Jude. I want him to be exposed to all of this and to know about the culure of martial arts. Martial arts, after all, are what made - and continues to make - me who I am today. It would also be good for him to see his dad working hard and striving to achieve something; examples he can take with him in whatever he does. It'll also be cool for him to say that his dad competed at such a high level and, God willing, if I do well or win, be able to say something like, "My dad is a national champion." Haha.
So, throughout all of this, Jude has seen me teach and train. He's also seen his mother train, get her yellow belt and compete and win. Naturally, running a dojang (training hall), I've had to order equipment and uniforms. I should say, also, that last Halloween we got Jude his own dobok (uniform) that he could wear for trick or treating but with the hope that one day he will actually wear it for class. Well, the uniform was too big (it still is) so he ended up being Buzz Lightyear instead. And that was okay because he LOVES Toy Story and Buzz.
Jude in his joombi position
Okay, so here's the main event. Last Wednesday, one of my orders arrived with a uniform in it. I tried it on and took it off. Jude said, "Too big, daddy?" I told him it was fine and fit right. He then said he wanted his "Small Taekwondo." Guada and I melted. We brought him upstairs, Guada bathed him and we suited him up, belt and all. Then, we went back downstairs and he did some kicks and punches on a sheet of kicking film (before they actually made kicking film we just used to hit old x-rays). Some months ago, I'd already taught him charyut (attention), kungyet (bow) and joombi (ready). He did all of this on his own, in between kicks and punches, and at the end we shook hands just as if we were in a dojang and class was ending.
Seeing him kick and punch, bow and stand ready, I couldn't help from feel my heart melting. Every father wants his son or daughter to like the things he likes and pursue them. I think it's safe to say that. I'm not any different. However, it was extra rewarding because, like I said, I've gotten back into fulltime Taekwondo aggressively for him and to see him respond to it like this makes everything worth it. I hope he continues to show interest and age three is a good age to start. I just have to be careful to let him do it as he wants to and not push it and to allow him to do other things.
Jude at attention
If he never gets his black belt, that's okay and perhaps martial arts isn't his thing. Seeing him the other night, though, and with the continued exposure he's going to get, I beg (and hope) to differ. We could be seeing the beginning of a Bas Taekwondo dynasty. Haha.
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