Thanksgiving And The Americanization Of An Immigrant

Thanksgiving And The Americanization Of An Immigrant


Happy Thanksgiving everyone! It's a little early, I know, but what the heck! I'm in a holiday frame of mind and Thanksgiving may be my favourite one.

I don't know whether I'm a patriot or not. I know I'm not a 'rah rah' jingoist.  But I do  live in America and have dual citizenship (US and Philippines) and I have a lot of love for this country. So, last week, when I heard reports of how Black Friday has actually turned into Black Thursday, I was saddened. This is not new, however, with stores opening its doors at midnight for early Christmas shopping deals in recent years. This yearm however,  shops are opening as early as 8pm and, for me, this is just not cool.

Holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, are largely family affairs. It some cases, family from parts near and far, but whom you don't see on a daily basis, come by. It's a great time to spend with these individuals and for one's kids to really get to know their relatives. One can argue that going shopping as a group can be a family outing but, come on, let's get real. And, for the United States, Thanksgiving is such a unique holiday. It's one of THE important national holidays - like July 4th (when the country became its own) and Columbus Day (when it was discovered), which, sadly, seems to have gone by the wayside.

I find it a little funny, then, that I, an immigrant, is blogging about the glory of Thanksgiving. Most immigrants, I think, form a bond with July 4th. That day, after all, is when America became its own nation, independent from Britain, and meshes perfectly with the immigrant ideal of coming to America, breaking away on some level from the immigrant's native land, to form his or her own way in 'the land of the free and the home of the brave.' Thanksgiving, though,  is something I didn't grow up with in Hong Kong. I'd heard about it and studied about The Mayflower and The Pilgrims but that was it. Hong Kong, in my youth, was a British colony and I'm Filipino so Thanksgiving wasn't something we celebrated. (We did, though, take some of Thanksgiving's traditions such as eating a turkey with stuffing, which my mother learnt from her German-American father,  into Christmas).

So, perhaps, since it was something new to me, it became something special.

Every year, going back to when I was single and still living in my parents house in South Orange, I watch The Macy's Parade on TV. It's fun, exciting and helps bring in the holiday season. Now, married and a father, I do that with my wife and son. We're establishing our own traditions and, maybe, my son will continue them. Who knows? After the parade, we watch the dog show and then, as the bird is cooking, we go for a long walk. I think, for me, Thanksgiving became extra special because it was a holiday when my parents and I got to be together. Being the youngest, with two married sisters in other cities and a brother in Manila, a lot of the years before I got married and before my folks moved back to Manila were spent with just the three of us. More often than not, they would be in Manila for Christmas with my brother so Thanksgiving became our time.

I think becoming a father, too, made me appreciate Thanksgiving; not just as a family holiday but as an American holiday. My son, like me, has dual citizenship but he was born and is being raised in the United States (unlike me). He's the first generation of natural-born Americans in my immediate family (one my sister's has three daughters, all born in the US, and while she is part of my immediate family her husband and children are not). Add to this that I am an immigrant who has difficulty in knowing where to call home - Philippines (where I was born, hold citizenship, and I see myself ethnically as a Filipino), Hong Kong (where I was raised from 9 months to 16, where my heart calls home, and a city that tugs on the Chinese blood given to me by my paternal grandmother) or New Jersey, USA (where I've lived the last 28 years, hold citizenship, and experienced many of life's defining moments) - and who has  a strong sense of loss and displacement, I feel it's imperative that I forge a sense of belonging and roots for my son. My son was born in 2008, in America, and I want him to be able to say, unequivocally, where he's from. When I'm asked where I'm from, I'm always uncertain how to respond.

Also, in 2008, the first minority president was elected. Barack Obama, half black and half white, became our president and, yes, I voted for him. I liked what he had to say. I'm not a die-hard Democrat and I'd vote Republican if I thought the candidate would do the best for me and if that would, in turn, be the best for my family. In 2008, Obama made me believe he was that candidate. I felt the same way in 2012. But, more than his goals and policies, I felt a connection to him - as a biracial human being. In a way, I felt there was finally someone who would, on some level, put minorities and multi-ethnics somewhere close to the front of his thoughts. Furthermore, he has a strong Asian connection, having lived in Hawaii and Indonesia and he has Asian relatives. So, again, he was someone I, as an biracial immigrant citizen of this country, could relate to. Lastly, Obama spoke about - and speaks about - Americans taking care of Americans, crossing the aisle from the Democrat side of government to the Republican - and that is the kind of world I want my son to grow up in and, hopefully, influence. No man is an island and we should all watch each others' backs.

So, it is with this view of America - a 'new' America, if you will - and my American-born son and the special quality Thanksgiving has for me that I count down to Thursday and celebrate what I regard as the best of American holidays and usher in the holiday season. Thank you America for all you are and all you've given me and for what you will give my son.

God bless America and Happy Thanksgiving!

Holiday Overkill

Happy Valentine’s Day!

That’s what I’m supposed to wish everyone today, right?

I’m asking because I was at Target yesterday with a friend and she was looking for cards and candy for her husband and her kids. She was also looking for cards and candy for her kids, who are a toddler and an infant, to give to their grandparents. I’ve been living in America for a long time now and I know that Valentine’s Day is about getting cards and candy, flowers and gifts for those you love but I’d grown up thinking of it as giving cards and candy, flowers and gifts to ‘that special someone.’ Yes, one’s kids’ grandparents are special and getting a card for your toddler to give to your spouse is also a sign of love but Valentine’s, to me, was always about romantic love.

After work, and after picking up my niece from the airport, my wife and I went to day care and got our son. I stayed in the car with my niece, who’s here from England to attend a special K-Pop event in New York City this coming Saturday. When my wife and son returned to the car, my wife had a Valentine’s Day handout with the list of the day care students in our son’s class. It suggested that the parents bring in something, a small token, to distribute to all the kids to celebrate the day. I didn’t mind returning to Target to get something but I’ll admit that I was a tad surprised that we’d only been told about this the afternoon before the day. It’s for the kids, though, and they’ll have fun and learn about Valentine’s Day so, really, it wasn’t a problem or a big deal. It did, though, reinforce that Valentine’s Day is not just for boyfriends and their girlfriends, girlfriends and their boyfriends, girlfriends and their girlfriends, boyfriends and their boyfriends, or spouses; at least not anymore, anyway.

It also made me think that we celebrate too many holidays and we extend some of them - like Valentine’s Day - to include everyone. I don’t know why that is. Maybe it’s a financial thing and the marketers and product makers target everyone so they milk us out of our last dimes under the pretense that we’re doing something nice or celebrating something meaningful. Maybe it’s so no one feels badly, perhaps, because they’re left out of the party. It’s the same with being a physical education teacher. There’s such a strong push away from competition that, in my opinion, sports has become so anemic and everyone’s ‘a winner.’ There are winners and there are losers. That’s a fact of life. It also doesn’t mean that if you win you are a better human being than anyone else and if you lose you’re a lesser one. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be sensitive or that we should condone meanness. What I’m saying is, we should be honest. Like I said, not everyone wins. Sometimes, we are losers. Sometimes, they party isn’t about (the proverbial) you.

Going back to holidays, it seems that there’s one almost everyday. I’m not talking about religious holidays. The word ‘holiday’ comes from ‘holy day’ after all.  If we really were going to celebrate the holy days then everyone’s holy days would be days off from work or school, without those who celebrate them needing to apply for days off to do so. For instance, in the interest of being sensitive and inclusive, why don’t we have days off for, say, Diwali or Guru Nanak’s Birthday.

I love a good celebration and the festivities that surround it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not putting down holidays and people’s need and desire to feel special and to have a good time. Believe me - anyone who knows me will verify this - when I say I like to have as much of a good time as the next guy. It just feels that holidays are shoved down are throats and even created for the sake of just having one. It used to be that Halloween items were displayed or sold until the middle of September and Thanksgiving stuff after Halloween. At the earliest, Thanksgiving items might start showing up mid-October. In 2011, Thanksgiving stuff started appearing in September as if Halloween didn’t exist. As for Valentine’s Day, I remember walking into my local Target a day or two after Christmas Day to see Valentine’s Day cards and such on display. Um, what happened to New Year?

I grew up believing that holidays had a religious origin and, because of that, they had much greater meaning than the cards and candy and lights and such that represent them. Maybe it’s in the naming that bothers me. Should some things even be called holidays? Maybe I’d be less at odds with this if they were referred to as ‘commemoration days’ or ‘national days.’ But, then, again do we need to commemorate everything? For example, February 1 is National Baked Alaska Day and January 31 is National Popcorn Day. Come on, really? Give me a break.

Anyway, I know this is a happy day and everyone’s loving everyone else and all that; and I am, too. I just think and feel that we’re over-killing the idea of what a holiday is and that, in turn, is taking away each one’s significance and meaning.

What do you think?

Christmas in July

What is it about the summer months that makes me think of and long for the cooler days of autumn and winter (I said cooler and not cold)? Sure, it's hot and humid in June, July and August but I think my feelings for the cooler months has to do with more than wanting relief from the scorching temperatures like our current heat wave.

Every year, around this time, I get a yearning for putting on sweatshirts, smelling freshly fallen leaves (although I don't look forward to raking them into lawn bags and blowing out from under the back stairs of my home and from between bushes that line the driveway) and hearing the sounds of jingle bells and holiday songs. Is it because there's a certain monotony to the summer? Is it because I just love the holiday season? I really can't tell you. I've been like this since I was a kid.

I suspect that, while I'm not unhappy in the summer, I've had some of my happiest times during the cooler months - "Legendary Weekends" with Ian, being fit and training for The Disney World Marathon, taking writing classes in NYC and watching the days get shorter and the night get cooler, making fires from kindling picked from fallen branches in my yard, watching The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade and getting revved up for Christmas - and perhaps my yearning for the holiday time of year has to do with holding on to the past and trying to relive some former joy or some long forgotten glory. I don't know.

I bring this up in my blog because I wonder if anyone else gets a feeling for the fall, winter and the holidays during the summer like this. If you do,write a comment or go to website (filamkickingscribe.com) and shoot me a message.

I hope everyone's getting through our heat wave. Getting into my car after watching "Friends With Benefits" with my wife, my car's thermostat read 103 degrees Fahrenheit/37 degrees Celsius. My wife called the heat "oppressive," which is the best way to describe it. Anyway, while it may be 103 outside, I hope the talk of fall and winter has provided some kind of psychological relief.

Thanks for stopping by. I look forward to hearing from you.