Thanksgiving And The Americanization Of An Immigrant

Thanksgiving And The Americanization Of An Immigrant


Happy Thanksgiving everyone! It's a little early, I know, but what the heck! I'm in a holiday frame of mind and Thanksgiving may be my favourite one.

I don't know whether I'm a patriot or not. I know I'm not a 'rah rah' jingoist.  But I do  live in America and have dual citizenship (US and Philippines) and I have a lot of love for this country. So, last week, when I heard reports of how Black Friday has actually turned into Black Thursday, I was saddened. This is not new, however, with stores opening its doors at midnight for early Christmas shopping deals in recent years. This yearm however,  shops are opening as early as 8pm and, for me, this is just not cool.

Holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, are largely family affairs. It some cases, family from parts near and far, but whom you don't see on a daily basis, come by. It's a great time to spend with these individuals and for one's kids to really get to know their relatives. One can argue that going shopping as a group can be a family outing but, come on, let's get real. And, for the United States, Thanksgiving is such a unique holiday. It's one of THE important national holidays - like July 4th (when the country became its own) and Columbus Day (when it was discovered), which, sadly, seems to have gone by the wayside.

I find it a little funny, then, that I, an immigrant, is blogging about the glory of Thanksgiving. Most immigrants, I think, form a bond with July 4th. That day, after all, is when America became its own nation, independent from Britain, and meshes perfectly with the immigrant ideal of coming to America, breaking away on some level from the immigrant's native land, to form his or her own way in 'the land of the free and the home of the brave.' Thanksgiving, though,  is something I didn't grow up with in Hong Kong. I'd heard about it and studied about The Mayflower and The Pilgrims but that was it. Hong Kong, in my youth, was a British colony and I'm Filipino so Thanksgiving wasn't something we celebrated. (We did, though, take some of Thanksgiving's traditions such as eating a turkey with stuffing, which my mother learnt from her German-American father,  into Christmas).

So, perhaps, since it was something new to me, it became something special.

Every year, going back to when I was single and still living in my parents house in South Orange, I watch The Macy's Parade on TV. It's fun, exciting and helps bring in the holiday season. Now, married and a father, I do that with my wife and son. We're establishing our own traditions and, maybe, my son will continue them. Who knows? After the parade, we watch the dog show and then, as the bird is cooking, we go for a long walk. I think, for me, Thanksgiving became extra special because it was a holiday when my parents and I got to be together. Being the youngest, with two married sisters in other cities and a brother in Manila, a lot of the years before I got married and before my folks moved back to Manila were spent with just the three of us. More often than not, they would be in Manila for Christmas with my brother so Thanksgiving became our time.

I think becoming a father, too, made me appreciate Thanksgiving; not just as a family holiday but as an American holiday. My son, like me, has dual citizenship but he was born and is being raised in the United States (unlike me). He's the first generation of natural-born Americans in my immediate family (one my sister's has three daughters, all born in the US, and while she is part of my immediate family her husband and children are not). Add to this that I am an immigrant who has difficulty in knowing where to call home - Philippines (where I was born, hold citizenship, and I see myself ethnically as a Filipino), Hong Kong (where I was raised from 9 months to 16, where my heart calls home, and a city that tugs on the Chinese blood given to me by my paternal grandmother) or New Jersey, USA (where I've lived the last 28 years, hold citizenship, and experienced many of life's defining moments) - and who has  a strong sense of loss and displacement, I feel it's imperative that I forge a sense of belonging and roots for my son. My son was born in 2008, in America, and I want him to be able to say, unequivocally, where he's from. When I'm asked where I'm from, I'm always uncertain how to respond.

Also, in 2008, the first minority president was elected. Barack Obama, half black and half white, became our president and, yes, I voted for him. I liked what he had to say. I'm not a die-hard Democrat and I'd vote Republican if I thought the candidate would do the best for me and if that would, in turn, be the best for my family. In 2008, Obama made me believe he was that candidate. I felt the same way in 2012. But, more than his goals and policies, I felt a connection to him - as a biracial human being. In a way, I felt there was finally someone who would, on some level, put minorities and multi-ethnics somewhere close to the front of his thoughts. Furthermore, he has a strong Asian connection, having lived in Hawaii and Indonesia and he has Asian relatives. So, again, he was someone I, as an biracial immigrant citizen of this country, could relate to. Lastly, Obama spoke about - and speaks about - Americans taking care of Americans, crossing the aisle from the Democrat side of government to the Republican - and that is the kind of world I want my son to grow up in and, hopefully, influence. No man is an island and we should all watch each others' backs.

So, it is with this view of America - a 'new' America, if you will - and my American-born son and the special quality Thanksgiving has for me that I count down to Thursday and celebrate what I regard as the best of American holidays and usher in the holiday season. Thank you America for all you are and all you've given me and for what you will give my son.

God bless America and Happy Thanksgiving!

Top Ten Favourite Days of the Year

Last week was the start of Daylight Savings Time (DST) and, as the day wound down and it was still light outside at dusk, it got me to thinking that DST – not just the idea behind it but the first day of it – is one of my favourite days of the year. It could very well be my number one favourite day of the year. Well, maybe. Suffice it to say, I love when it rolls around.

As I enjoyed the longer daylight, I started to think about my favourite days of the year - what are they and why they are my favourite days? As a result, I’ve come up with my Top Ten Days of the Year. Naturally, you might think that my anniversary or my birthday would be on the list but they’re not. That isn’t to say that those days aren’t important and that I’m not glad for those events. I am – especially when I think of how I was dying when I was born - but I think days like those go into their own special category as special case, natural favourite things (although, if I do my Top Ten Least Favourite Days, my birthday could appear in that list). The Top Ten List I’ve come up with doesn’t have any of those ‘gimme’ or ‘duh’ days and the days aren’t listed in any particular order. So, without further ado, here they are:

1.        Daylight Savings Time. Like most people, when there’s less light I can get irritable and sometimes I can even feel a little depressed but that’s not why I like DST. I like it because, even though, I am somewhat of a professed homebody, I do like it when it’s light outside. It just, literally and metaphorically, make the day longer. As a busy human being, when it gets dark, I tend to shut down and view the day as over. When there’s more light, whether it’s real or not, there just seems to be more time. It also just, simply, feels good. Some people I know complain that it means they lose an hour and they’re tired but the effects of an hour’s less sleep diminish. The longer daylight hours, at least, last a few months longer.

2.       The winter’s first snowfall. Anyone who knows me might find this surprising because those people know I have a love/hate relationship with snow. It’s pretty to look at but it’s also dangerous, causes major inconveniences, and takes time away from my already busy life. My wife, family and friends will attest that I’ve referred to it as “white shit.” So, why is it on my list? Well, because it is pretty to look at and it does offer some – this is going to sound corny – warm, fuzzy feelings and thoughts of coziness, younger days, the holidays and new and exciting things. You might say the hate part of my relationship with snow is because I didn’t grow up with it; my first encounter with snow wasn’t until I was sixteen. Not growing up with snow is also why I have the love part.

3.       The first cool day in October. Autumn begins sometime in late September but it’s the first cool day in October that has a special feeling for me. The early Fall is one of my favourite times of the year but it’s that first day when you have to wear a sweater or sweatshirt to work, put the flannel PJs on that gets me. There’s a certain crispness and something clean in the air. It also makes me start to think of the holiday season that include into Thanksgiving and Christmas.

4.       The opening day of the English football season. I’ve been a football (soccer) fan for 32 years and an Arsenal fan for as long as I’ve been a football fan. So, in the same way a Yankees supporter look forward to spring training and the opening day of the baseball season, I look forward to the opening day of the English Premier League. I love football, especially English football, I love Arsenal and I love that cable television and the internet allows me to watch and/or listen to just about every Arsenal match of the season. Even though I’m not there in London, or wherever my team is playing, I can smell that distinct aroma of fresh grass and fresh grass in cool autumn air.

5.       January 1^st. No, this isn’t because it’s the start of a new year and all that is supposed to bestow upon us. Really, it’s because it’s the start of the midseason transfer window for European football and it’s an exciting time of anticipation and disappointment to see who’s leaving this time and who’s going to that time and what trades and deals Arsenal are or are not making.

6.       The first day after the last day of school. I’m a school teacher – when I’m not writing and not being a Taekwondo instructor – so the last day of school is always exciting. Listen folks, it’s as exciting for teachers as it is for students. Let’s not be coy about it. We all look forward to it. Other than my first three years out of college, when I had a job that ran for twelve months and not just ten, I’ve been in and around schools all my life. The first day after the last day of the school year is like a breath of fresh air.

7.       My son’s birthday. This, you might be thinking, should fall in that special case, ‘gimme’ and ‘duh’ category. Perhaps it should. For me, though, it really slapped me in the face but not because I’m a father and we’re talking about my son’s birthday. That’s just a ‘duh.’ My son’s birthday has added significance to me because we’re best friends and because, while I am still very much a flawed man, I’m a better man every day because of him. Additionally, I see him on his birthday and he’s aware that it’s a special day for him. He knows there’s going to be cake and presents but without any kind of selfishness or self-centredness. His demeanour is full of innocence; an innocence I know will one day disappear but one that I can witness and appreciate, unlike the innocence I possessed at that age. It makes me think of what Jesus said needing to be childlike - not childish – to enter the kingdom of Heaven. Children are Heaven on Earth.

8.       Thanksgiving Day. I love the holiday season and Thanksgiving starts it all. (Yes, some of you start it with Halloween but Halloween falls in my list of least favourite days; although, with my son’s enjoyment of it, I’m starting to warm up to it.) I love Thanksgiving, too, for the Macy’s Parade. I love watching it, seeing the Broadway performances, seeing everyone dressed up in New York City, the balloons and floats and, of course, Santa at the end. Like I said, it excites me for the upcoming holidays but it also brings me to a childlike state and lets me be free, albeit just for one day, of any and all adult pressures and worries.

9.       The day after Thanksgiving. No, this has nothing to do with Black Friday. I have gone to the stores and there is a lot of excitement and the crowds and such are all part of the season. The day after Thanksgiving, though, is the start of the secular Christmas season and, while I believe Christ MUST be kept in Christmas, I also like the red and green, the bells, carols and decorations that stay with us for a couple of months.

10.   Marathon Sunday. Many marathons are run on Sundays but if you’re from the New York area this can only refer to first Sunday of November. That’s when 40,000 plus people run the New York City Marathon. I love this day. There’s so much anticipation leading up to it, so much celebration. Also, I’ve run it twice and I want to do it again. I first ran it in 1995; twelve years after I watched a delay of it on TV in Hong Kong and vowed I would one day run it. Maybe it’s because I’ve run this race or that I’m in the New York area, living next door in New Jersey, and that, if I were in Boston, I’d feel this way about the Boston Marathon but there’s something truly special and powerful about 40,000 runners and tens of thousands of assistants, organisers and volunteers coming together to make the even work and for everyone to have his or her own unique experience. Each runner’s reasons for entering are different but they’re all coming together with one thing one their minds – finish the race, cover 26 miles and 385 yards and conquerthe monster that is a marathon and the need that made them have to run it.

So, that’s my Top Ten Favourite Days of the Year. What are yours? Do we share any? Think about what yours are and do share. Thanks for reliving my year.

Holiday Overkill

Happy Valentine’s Day!

That’s what I’m supposed to wish everyone today, right?

I’m asking because I was at Target yesterday with a friend and she was looking for cards and candy for her husband and her kids. She was also looking for cards and candy for her kids, who are a toddler and an infant, to give to their grandparents. I’ve been living in America for a long time now and I know that Valentine’s Day is about getting cards and candy, flowers and gifts for those you love but I’d grown up thinking of it as giving cards and candy, flowers and gifts to ‘that special someone.’ Yes, one’s kids’ grandparents are special and getting a card for your toddler to give to your spouse is also a sign of love but Valentine’s, to me, was always about romantic love.

After work, and after picking up my niece from the airport, my wife and I went to day care and got our son. I stayed in the car with my niece, who’s here from England to attend a special K-Pop event in New York City this coming Saturday. When my wife and son returned to the car, my wife had a Valentine’s Day handout with the list of the day care students in our son’s class. It suggested that the parents bring in something, a small token, to distribute to all the kids to celebrate the day. I didn’t mind returning to Target to get something but I’ll admit that I was a tad surprised that we’d only been told about this the afternoon before the day. It’s for the kids, though, and they’ll have fun and learn about Valentine’s Day so, really, it wasn’t a problem or a big deal. It did, though, reinforce that Valentine’s Day is not just for boyfriends and their girlfriends, girlfriends and their boyfriends, girlfriends and their girlfriends, boyfriends and their boyfriends, or spouses; at least not anymore, anyway.

It also made me think that we celebrate too many holidays and we extend some of them - like Valentine’s Day - to include everyone. I don’t know why that is. Maybe it’s a financial thing and the marketers and product makers target everyone so they milk us out of our last dimes under the pretense that we’re doing something nice or celebrating something meaningful. Maybe it’s so no one feels badly, perhaps, because they’re left out of the party. It’s the same with being a physical education teacher. There’s such a strong push away from competition that, in my opinion, sports has become so anemic and everyone’s ‘a winner.’ There are winners and there are losers. That’s a fact of life. It also doesn’t mean that if you win you are a better human being than anyone else and if you lose you’re a lesser one. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be sensitive or that we should condone meanness. What I’m saying is, we should be honest. Like I said, not everyone wins. Sometimes, we are losers. Sometimes, they party isn’t about (the proverbial) you.

Going back to holidays, it seems that there’s one almost everyday. I’m not talking about religious holidays. The word ‘holiday’ comes from ‘holy day’ after all.  If we really were going to celebrate the holy days then everyone’s holy days would be days off from work or school, without those who celebrate them needing to apply for days off to do so. For instance, in the interest of being sensitive and inclusive, why don’t we have days off for, say, Diwali or Guru Nanak’s Birthday.

I love a good celebration and the festivities that surround it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not putting down holidays and people’s need and desire to feel special and to have a good time. Believe me - anyone who knows me will verify this - when I say I like to have as much of a good time as the next guy. It just feels that holidays are shoved down are throats and even created for the sake of just having one. It used to be that Halloween items were displayed or sold until the middle of September and Thanksgiving stuff after Halloween. At the earliest, Thanksgiving items might start showing up mid-October. In 2011, Thanksgiving stuff started appearing in September as if Halloween didn’t exist. As for Valentine’s Day, I remember walking into my local Target a day or two after Christmas Day to see Valentine’s Day cards and such on display. Um, what happened to New Year?

I grew up believing that holidays had a religious origin and, because of that, they had much greater meaning than the cards and candy and lights and such that represent them. Maybe it’s in the naming that bothers me. Should some things even be called holidays? Maybe I’d be less at odds with this if they were referred to as ‘commemoration days’ or ‘national days.’ But, then, again do we need to commemorate everything? For example, February 1 is National Baked Alaska Day and January 31 is National Popcorn Day. Come on, really? Give me a break.

Anyway, I know this is a happy day and everyone’s loving everyone else and all that; and I am, too. I just think and feel that we’re over-killing the idea of what a holiday is and that, in turn, is taking away each one’s significance and meaning.

What do you think?