One Year On - Ten Things I Learnt The Year After My Book Came Out

 One Year On - Ten Things I Learnt In The Year After My Book Came Out

A year ago, on 7 February, my debut novel, Back Kicks And Broken Promises, came out. After years writing and creating several versions of the work, and after thoughtful feedback from fellow writers, I decided on first person POV and a linearly told story. Also, after some positive responses, over three years of trying to solicit an agent but failing to do so, I decided to self-publish and get my book ‘out there.’ Overall, I’m happy with my decision to go indie but, as with anything else, hindsight is twenty/twenty and there were some lessons learnt.

Here are the ten most influential things I learnt about the publishing process and myself, as a writer, over the last twelve months. For those of you who’ve already published, indie or traditional, they might be lessons you’ve yet to learn or they might be things that happened to you as well. And, if that’s the case, feel reassured that you’re not alone. If you’ve yet to publish, maybe my experience may benefit you as you forge ahead in publishing your own work.

1. Believe in myself. When I began the publishing process, and after my novel came out, every discussion I had with a rep from the publisher, every production item I approved (cover, inside layout, etc), every email I sent to a bookseller, I left with feelings of doubt. I second-guessed everything. After all, who would want to read anything I’d written? What did I know about any of this, having never done it before? I kept thinking that anyone I tried to promote my novel to would think that I was just some guy who wrote a book - and, everyone can write a book, right? Big deal. But, once I calmed myself down, I reminded myself that I’d taken this book through three rounds of workshops at The Gotham Writer’s Workshop in New York City, one of the best (my and others’ opinions) and most respected writing programs around. I’d done the hard work. No one panned my work and some of my fellow writers even picked out sections they really liked. I also realised that my book does not define me as a person. The book that came out last year, Back Kicks And Broken Promises, is fiction, while also being semi-autobiographical. In that regard, it is very personal. I also put a lot of my life into the writing and production of the book but, even then, if it’s hated or loved that doesn’t meant I’m hated or loved. As a writer, I can be judged by my work and how it moves the reader but it doesn’t define me as a man.

2. Promotion is hard. I knew, going indie, that I was going to be responsible for the promotion of my book. Even some traditionally published authors have to do their own promoting. From what I’ve read and heard at conferences, it’s the big names - the Kings, Rowlings, Meyers, Picoults, Franzens, etc - who get their publicity done for them. Even then, some of are still doing their own promoting. Many of us who indie-publish still work a day job (and maybe a night or second part-time job) and, like everyone else, we have other parts of our lives that need to be taken care of. So, promoting one’s work can, sometimes, be that ‘extra’ thing to be done at the end of an already long and arduous day. Nonetheless, it has to be done. A Facebook page, a website, a blog and a Twitter account are the minimum you’ll need. You’ll need to build your platform; the 'who you are, what you’re about' centre of your writing and public persona. Do all of that even before you get your book into a publisher or agent’s hands.

3. Print out pages. I thought I was being efficient when I reviewed the PDF copy my publisher sent me on my laptop. Papers can get bulky and we’re in the ‘e age’ anyway, right? On some level, too, I thought I was saving money. However, looking back, I regret not printing out a hardcopy. PDFs don’t always look like a Word document. They’re not brightly lit. It looks like the page in a book and, sometimes, on the screen, unless you magnify a lot, they can be hard to read. Add to that, I probably need a new glasses prescription and I do most of my writing at 3am, with tired eyes, so I was bound to make mistakes and miss things. A writer will always miss stuff in his own work. That’s normal but it doesn’t help when he doesn’t review the final copy the properly. As a result of my efforts at being efficient, I discovered some typos in the final product that I need to correct. And I will correct them but that’s another out of pocket expense with the publisher. If I had printed out pages, I might have caught more of the errors I missed.
4. Have a budget before you start (It doesn’t have to be a big one). When I decided to self-publish, it was the end of the summer. It wasn’t until the following December and January when I had to start paying for things. The money was there for the publishing process. It’s the after stuff where a pre-determined budget comes in handy. Revisions (beyond the free first round), promotion, entering contests for self-published books, paying for book reviews (from companies like Kirkus Indie or Blue Ink) are where the budget will really be needed. Treat your writing as a business, if you’re looking to make a profit, from the start and not just after the book comes out.

5. POD (Print-On-Demand) pricing can be prohibitive. I published through Abbott Press, A Writer’s Digest Company, and I’m very happy with what they did for me and for my book. Probably, the only thing I wasn’t happy with is the retail price of my books. The ebook, at $3.99, isn’t bad. The hardcover, though, at $39.99, and the paperback ($22.99) are not so favourable. It was explained tome that the number of pages of my novel and because of the POD mode of publishing, the cost will be higher than traditionally published or small press books per unit for the reader. Outskirts Press, another POD company, has an option that allows the author to price his own book but it has limits and will reduce royalties. Even with this option, the price to the consumer is still on the higher end. If I indie-publish again, I might go a different route. Amazon’s Createspace, I believe, allows the author to determine his book’s prices but I think they specialize in ebook and paperback formats and not hardcover. Or, I might try a fixed run at a small press or something in the middle, like Book Baby. So, before you publish, make sure the end retail price is not going to price your book out of sales. Good writing will trump a high retail price but we live in leaner times and consumers are tighter fisted with their resources.

6. Learn formatting and industry specs. I mention this, specifically, because of my book’s cover. I’ve gotten a lot of praise for my book’s cover. And, after reading it, you’ll see how it fits nicely with the plot and theme. What I learnt about a book’s cover, when I got my feedback from the judges of The Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards, is that a book’s title should be readable from six feet away. This makes it better seen on a bookshelf, which is key if the book makes it onto a shelf in a bookstore. Unfortunately, I didn’t know this and, while my book is aesthetically and stylistically appealing, it doesn’t meet this standard.

7. Make connections. Writing is a very lonely profession. The people around me - my wife and my close friends - have been, and continue to be, very supportive. However, unless they’re also writers, I don’t think the people around us can truly appreciate the isolated and internal way of life being a writer is. Having said that, however, unless you’re Forrester, Sean Connery’s character in Finding Forrester, writers need support from other writers. Whether it’s to promote each other’s books, beta-read first drafts, offer suggestions to battle writer’s block, writers need writers. We can find each other on Twitter but, more specifically, connections are also made in website communities like The Independent Author Network, Your Book Authors, Goodreads, Scribophile, and others. More than the tangible benefits you can get from being connected to other writers, there is the sense of community you’ll feel. In addition to be pursuing a, naturally, lonely endeavour, writers also need validation. This doesn’t mean we need to be told our work is brilliant, whether it is or isn’t. Rather, it’s reassuring to know that our efforts and reasons for writing, as varied as they are, are worth something and that we are not alone, even if we’re lonely. Through the connections I’ve made and re-made since my book came out, I and/or my book has been featured in two newspapers, a magazine and reviewed once. At the time of this writing, Back Kicks And Broken Promises is being reviewed, for free, by Indiereader.com thanks to a connection I made.

8. Always have a copy of your book with you. You never know when you might be in a position to promote your work. You never know whom you might meet someone who has contacts and can/will/might talk about you and your book. Sometimes, though, you do and you’re not prepared. Last year, after reading Legend, I emailed the author, Marie Lu, to tell her how much I loved the book (her debut novel) and that I’d written a review of it. She was very flattered by my review and since then we’ve had some Twitter and e-mail exchanges; enough, I think, to the point that she might actually recognize my name. Well, shortly after our first email exchange, she gave a reading and book signing with three other authors in New York City. When I lined up to get my copy of Legend signed, Marie looked at me with recognition, probably from my Twitter picture. As we chatted, she asked if I had a copy of my book. Ugh! I didn’t and I kick myself (metaphorically) every time I think about this episode in my life. Having had a copy of my book to give her might not have led to anything but, then again, who knows? The worst part about this story: I’d thought to bring one then I decided against it, fearing I’d come across as presumptuous. Then, I decided to bring it anyway but I left it on my dining table.

9. Enter contests. Apart from the chance you might win or place - and many contests come with some kind of publisher/agent contact as a prize - you often get valuable insights into your book and/or a review of some kind. Most require some kind of entry fee (see Number 4 above) but it’s not usually so large that it’s unaffordable. I participated in NaNoWriMo last November and I completed the challenge. I ‘won.’ I finished writing the first draft of a novel in thirty days, which has jumpstarted my writing and there are even tangible prizes that come with it. I can get free copies of my book from Createspace and there are several discounts for various writing resources, as well. So, contests and challenges are beneficial.

10. Believe in my work. As soon as my book went live, butterflies lived inside me for a good two weeks. I was filled with anxiety that no one would buy my book. I’m pretty sure that’s common for every writer. More than that, however, were feelings that the entire reading world would buy my book and call me out as a hack or fill my blog comment form and email inbox with challenges to every thought, word, reference, you name it that I put to paper. My fears, so far, haven’t come true. My book has made some sales, although VERY modest numbers, and no one has taken me to task on the content of my book. It’s fiction, after all, and semi-autobiographical at that. Even if someone were to come at it/me, I’ve come to accept that (and I knew this before) some people will love my work, some will hate it, and some will be indifferent to it. Either way, I wrote a book that has received more words of praise than otherwise and I did so with full commitment of mind, heart and soul. I hope it will entertain, educate and touch the minds and hearts of its reader and, from the feedback I’ve gotten, it has done that.

So, that’s what I’ve learnt about writing, publishing and myself since my book came out a year ago. As I work on my next book, the first in a Chinese-American fantasy series, I have some wisdom to turn to and an awareness of things to do, do better and to avoid. I don’t plan on indie-publishing for my next book, but I didn’t either for my debut novel. Hopefully, I’ll catch the proverbial break and get agent representation and a book deal. In the meantime, I’m going to tap my keys like the rest of us.

I hope what you’ve read here is useful in as you pursue your writing endeavours. If you have insights of your own, please share.

Happy writing all!

No Pulitzer Ficton Winner Good For Indie Books

The Pulitzer people announced their 2012 winners this week and, for the first time in thirty-five years, they didn’t award a winner for fiction. As someone who, three or four years ago, made it a goal to read each year’s winner I was a little disappointed that there wasn’t one. I’ve come to rely on the Pulitzer people to make one choice for me each year. Like many readers and lovers of books, who don’t have bottomless pockets filled with cash to spend on books, I’m careful when I choose what books to buy and read and The Pulitzer is arguably one of the most respected, albeit subjective, gauges of literature in this country. (Yes, I know I can enjoy reading books for free by getting a library card but, based on my reading habits, it’s probably cheaper to buy the books I read.)

Of the three finalists - Karen Russell’s Swamplandia!, David Foster Wallace’s The Pale King and Denis Johnson’s Train Dreams - Russell’s debut novel is the one I’m most familiar with. I have read Denis Johnson’s Tree of Smoke, however, and I almost picked up a copy of Wallace’s Brief Interviews with Hideous Men a while back.

The fact, though, that a winner wasn’t chosen because neither finalist garnered enough votes to push it passed the other two is another clear indicator - in addition to book sales, for instance - that what makes for a good book is subjective to the reader. There are some who put down genre fiction but, clearly, with the popularity that YA vampire/monster stories like The Twilight series have garnered and the growth of YA dystopia (The Hunger Games and Legend) there is a place for all kinds of books. This reinforcement that ‘good’ books are subjective is a good sign for indie authors.

With the economy what it is and with many traditional publishing houses not gambling on new writers, many writers, right off the bat or after getting rejected by agents, have turned to various forms of independent publishing (e-book formatting, print-on-demand, small runs at a small printer, etc). Yes, there are many indie books that are pretty bad. (Yes, my last sentence does sound subjective but I think there are some universal truths on writing; things like consistency of voice and POV, the ability to have a story thread throughout the novel, unique dialogue, etc.) Based on the positive responses my book received from agents and other writers before I published, I like to think it isn’t one of the baddies. I do know, however, that some people will love Back Kicks And Broken Promises while others will loathe it and others will find it ‘comme ci, comme ca,’ if not hate it altogether. There are also some traditionally published books that are not well received. Just read any review supplement in any Sunday edition of a national newspaper and you’ll read critics saying a variety of different things on some of the same books. Take a look at Entertainment Weekly magazine’s Books section. The magazine’s reviewers give the books actual letter grades. I’ve agreed with some, disagreed with others and I’ll admit that I’ve been influenced by the grade a book got when deciding whether and/or when to buy it.

The reason that no Pulitzer winner for fiction is good for indies is simply because it reinforces what I’ve tried to point out - that readers will find different books likable, lovable, loathe-worthy. Readers’ tastes are subjective and their responses to a particular book could be different from one day to the next. I read Tinkers, the 2010 Pulitzer fiction winner by Paul Harding about how a father and son, through tragedy, come to terms with the world and each other. It’s well written, a quick read and quite touching but I still felt frustrated when I was done with it. So, the fact that traditionally published books, by some well known and respected authors, that were aided by an agent’s efforts and resulted in some kind of monetary advance did not win, gives us - indie authors - hope. Perhaps an indie book will never appear on the list of accepted entries or finalists for a Pulitzer but, if the Pulitzer people can’t find a book to praise from the traditionally published, it (and the readers who follow the organization), may have to look elsewhere. And, the only alternative to traditionally published, whether e-book or print book, is indie published.

There are many book awards for indie authors. There are the Indie Reader Discovery Awards and Writer’s DigestSelf-Published Book Awards. These are good opportunities for indie books to get recognized and praised. They’re great marketing tools and give the authors a sense of validation if their books do well. Ideally, though, at least from my opinion, is for all books to be regarded together. Fiction is fiction regardless of who wrote it and who published it. If it does, for you, what you think and feel good fiction should do then it’s good fiction.

We read for lots of different reasons. For readers of fiction, I’m sure one of those reasons is old-fashioned enjoyment. Just make sure you’re actually enjoying what you read.

A Year in the Life, part II

Hi, here's the second half of my 2011 recap. Enjoy.

July:                  

Nationals. This trip would be our big family vacation. We’d stay at our friend’s place in Marina, just outside of Monterey, and the tournament was in San Jose. So, right now, I can say “yes” to Dionne Warwick. I do know the same to San Jose. I loved it there. Even the drive was nice. Everything was great - fantastic scenery, great farmers’ markets, cool and no humidity weather. We stayed with my wife’s friend Marsh, also a martial artist and a Monterey firefighter. Jude was so comfortable with Marsh. Guada, Marsh and Marsh’s girlfriend got to show Jude the Monterey Aquarium, where she works, and Jude got to feed the seals. I wasn’t able to go because I shot into San Jose to train and watch a friend compete in her division - a new friend, mind you, I’d made through the seminar and test in June – but just knowing my son was able to experience something as cool as feeding the seals made me happy.

Nationals itself was nice. I attended a small but meaningful opening ceremony. Each state walked in with signs, just like the countries do in the Olympics, and we heard opening speeches, pledged an oath to compete fairly and we watched some Taekwondo demonstrations. Was I excited after that? Heck, yeah! I couldn’t wait for the tournament to begin.

My actual competition was on the Saturday before July 4. There were 11 competitors in my division and I went right to the staging area. There, I warmed up, practiced my forms, relaxed. Then I’d repeat. While doing so, there were others doing the same thing. There were also lots of US team members, some I’d seen and competed against in Team Trials. What made Nationals and the year’s return to Taekwondo so rewarding was this: not only did I get to introduce my son to the thing I love, but, at Nationals, some US team members came up to me and greeted me by name. They’d remembered me from Trials and said they’d wished they could’ve helped me at Trials because they knew I was doing the forms the old way. I had pictures taken with some of them and made Facebook connections, too. We’re not all ‘buddy buddy’ and I’m nowhere close to becoming an elite athlete but I feel like I’ve become a part of the larger Taekwondo community. It’s easy to be the master of my school and keep it local and simple. To be a part of the entire community, however,  – making connections with US team members (one, incidentally, Facebooked me a birthday greeting today), making connections with the state association masters (the president served as my coach when I competed at Nationals), making friends in and through Taekwondo around the country – is what doing anything is about. Even as a writer. To make connections through the WDC and with other writers via Twitter, puts everything into perspective: that there’s a whole world out there that I am but a small part of and, yet, I can help it grow; that I do have a part to play.

I came tenth at Nationals. I thought I’d done well enough to place higher but I can accept my position. This was my first time doing this and, really, I pursued so intently for Jude. Sure, I did have notions and hopes – however, very thin ones – that I might medal but it’s okay that I didn’t. I committed, competed and have no doubts or regrets. If I do it again this year, I’ll be better prepared.

August:

Things settled down and got back to normal. I still trained but didn’t have a tournament to compete in. I also saw myself in the mirror and noticed that I’d dropped a good 15 pounds and several inches around my waistline. There’s still a long way to go but I’m heading in the right direction.

My wife’s parents celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary. Due to scheduling and budgeting, we couldn’t all go to Manila and celebrate with them so my wife went and I stayed in New Jersey with our son and dog. It was an interesting and fun father-son bonding time but it was also a little scary. I didn’t know if Jude was going to meltdown every day without his mother but he did fine. We enjoyed going to the pool, playing soccer in the park and watching movies. I wouldn’t want to play ‘single parent’ all the time but it was a nice, like I said, father-son bonding time.

This month also saw me take over, again, as head volleyball coach at my district’s high school. My second time around in this position, I knew better what I was doing and what I wanted to achieve and how to go about doing it. We had some success and some failures – and most of the credit goes to the players – but we did get to do things our volleyball team hasn’t done it a long time. We beat some of the ‘bigger’ title contending teams. We advanced to the second round of our county tournament. Some of our players were voted onto the all-conference team.

Also in this month, I made the decision to indie-publish my novel. I’d gotten lots of praise for it but no one wanted to pick it up and I found that not finding a place for it was stifling my other writing pursuits. So, I decided to self-publish and so began my foray into being a publisher, of sorts. Sure, I wish I could’ve gotten a nice fat advance and all that but, especially for a first book, I’m okay with self-publishing. There are lots of reasons why agents didn’t pick up my work. It doesn’t have to mean my novel is junk. There are simple taste reasons, economy reasons, including shifts in the publishing business with e-books, who knows? Maybe I was just targeting the wrong agents.

September/October/November:

It’s funny but these months really didn’t have much going on. Yes, the volleyball season ended in November with the team having done better than it has in recent years. Yes, there was Halloween and the strange snowfall before it. And, of course, there’s Thanksgiving but, really, nothing much happened to write about.

We did take Jude to see The Radio City Christmas Spectacular for the first time and its magic and the glamour of the Hall got to him, even as a three year old, instantly. “This is amazing,” is what he said. He actually said those words. I love the show. It’s a fun and meaningful program and I was ecstatic that he loved it, too. I hope he continues to enjoy it as he gets older and, hopefully, after I’m long gone, he can take his children and they’ll enjoy it too.

Oh, and about that freak snow storm, it really put me in a foul mood for weeks. I was in Brooklyn, with my wife, a mile or so away from Dumbo and The Powerhouse Arena, when the snow really started to come down. We were on our way to the Page Turner Festival, the annual literary festival and awards event hosted by The Asian American Writers’ Workshop. I’ve always wanted to attend but something always got in the way. This year, having committed to publishing my book, I bought tickets and we were set. As much as wanting to attend the event and hear speakers talk about their work, I also wanted to make some connections as an Asian-American writer, to get my book out and all that.  Well, so near yet so far. The snow forced us to go home. It’s a good thing we did because we would’ve gotten trapped in Brooklyn otherwise. As it was, we got stranded in Newark when the train wouldn’t go and our friend had to get us in his 4x4.

December:

Christmas this year was very special. With Jude more aware of things, the idea of Santa became very real to him. So, Guada and I played it up. As a result, Christmas was brilliant. Jude loved it; getting into the songs, lights, decorations, the gifts, the food, everything. For me, his excitement brought back a renewed joy for the season. I love Christmas but there always seems to be a touch of melancholy around the holidays. Through Jude, I got to feel his innocence and unblemished enjoyment of all things Christmas.

So, that’s what I have to look back on in 2011. As I venture in my 44^th year of life, let’s see what comes with it. My novel will be out in February. Maybe it’ll lead to some things big and exciting. The marketing people at the publisher think it’ll make for a good movie. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get on that US Poomsae team; with dual citizenship, if not the US one, how about Team Philippines?

I hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane. If you didn’t know me, now you do. I’d like to get to know my readers, too. What stands out for you in 2011? What do you have planned for 2012?

A Year in the Life, part I

Today’s my birthday and I’ve turned forty-three. I first wrote my age as a number but that seemed a little depressing, emphasizing my age somehow. I’m still pretty young, I guess, and in generally good health but I think it’s normal for someone my age to start assessing his life and taking stock of where he is, what he’s done and where he’s going.  I’m in the fifth decade of my life. Some of you reading are way beyond this. Some of you are at about the same stage and others are very far away from turning thirty, never mind forty. Perhaps some of you are even yet to hit twenty.

Last year, at around the twentieth anniversary of the completion of my undergraduate studies, I did a look back to see what I’d done since then. It was a timeline of some of the major events of my twenties and thirties. Today, I’m going to present what I’ve done and accomplished and failed in over the last twelve months. Hopefully it will be an interesting read and, perhaps, educate some and entertain others. Maybe, too, it will provide one or two of you some ideas and motivation for what you want to achieve for yourself.

It’s a bit long so I’ll post it in two parts.

January:

The year started out great with a nice New Year’s celebration. We were in Manila, though, and coming home was a disaster. It’s a really long story but, in a nutshell, out flight was cancelled. People were getting booked on flights two and three weeks later. We couldn’t afford that. I’d connected somehow with another Fil-Am, who works as a travel agent in New York, and following his lead I pressed the airline to get us booked. I’m usually very shy when it comes to speaking Tagalog but this was not a time for those kinds of insecurities. I spoke Tagalog, as bad as I do, and made some progress. Granted, everyone there at the airport spoke English, but, if you’ve ever been to The Philippines and you’re Filipino, it’s never just English. It’s Taglish, which I found out is an official language, so I had to use whatever Tagalog I knew. After about 12 or so hours, we were bound for Tokyo and, from there, on to Newark. While Guada and I were about to lose it, Jude was brilliant. At one point, we had to re-inspect our bags. I’d been carrying Jude and after our bags came out of the x-ray machine, I was setting up to shoulder one, roll another and grab him. He said, “No, Daddy. Don’t carry. It’s too much.” As I write this, I actually want to lose it. At such a young age, he recognized that we’d been through a hellish ordeal (we got to the airport at about 5pm and didn’t leave for Tokyo until about 9am). He slept through a lot of it but, when he was awake, he was happy and smiling. I looked to him whenever I wanted to break down and whenever I was ready to lose my cool at the airport and airline people. He kept me from doing either. Saint Jude is the patron saint of lost causes and hopeless cases. I became attached to the name years ago when I was going through a bad patch and came across a prayer card to Saint Jude. That’s how I became determined to name my son Jude and, yet again, Saint Jude came to my rescue.

I also returned to Taekwondo this month. Well, I never left it but the realities of everyday life had taken their toll and I hadn’t been training regularly, if at all. At the studio where my wife teaches Pilates, Niyolates and Gyrotonic, and where she and another instructor run their own business providing various dance and fitness classes, I started teaching Taekwondo. I do it through their business, Step2Gether, and I use the name of the Taekwondo school I operated in the early 1990s. I knew I missed training in and teaching Taekwondo, and perhaps it’s because of my age, but I didn’t know I missed it as much as I did. I’m really glad I’m back.

I attended the Writer’s Digest Conference (WDC) in New York City and pitched my novel, Back Kicks And Broken Promises, to agents at the Pitch Slam. They were all kind and said nice things. Three of them requested the complete manuscript and two of them compared it, based on my pitch, to The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. It’s my opinion that writers need validation; that what we’re writing matters to someone other than us. Whether my novel is actually on par or similar, in some way, to Junot Diaz’s Pulitzer Prize winner, I don’t know. That’ll be up to its readers to decide. Just hearing these agents say that, though, gave me a sense of hope and reward that what I’ve written could be something meaningful to someone other than me.

February:

Not much happened in February, except for finding out when the NJ State Taekwondo Championships were being held. I’d only started teaching Taekwondo again when I had to get some supplies at a martial arts supply store in Bergenfield, NJ. On the door was a poster advertising the tournament. Funnily, it was held on the same day as the New York City Half Marathon, a race I’d applied to but didn’t get accepted. If I had, I wouldn’t have competed at States and won my division and the rest of the year wouldn’t have happened as it did.

March:

The biggest thing to happen to me in March 2011 was the NJ State Taekwondo Championships. I hadn’t competed in, maybe, 15 years. Granted, I was only entering the forms division, so there wasn’t going to be contact happening but I was a little nervous about getting on the floor and performing. As it turned out, I was the only one who’d entered my division. I still performed but I was going to auto-gold anyway. If there had been others, who knows how I would have done but I was there, ready and willing to put it out on the floor. What was really interesting, and encouraging in a sense, was the fact that once I’d changed into my uniform and sat on the floor waiting for my time and stretching, a confident sense of déjà vu came over me. It was as if I’d never left the tournament circuit and, while the place and faces had changed, the calm I’d gained from experience, despite my absence, hadn’t.  I was relaxed and even confident and I didn’t have any of the nervousness that some of the other competitors looked like they had.

April:

I’d finished the final draft of my novel the previous December and had it in submission with agents so I allowed myself a break from writing to focus on my training. I was still following up with agents I’d queried and working on my works-in-progress but the main activity I was doing was training; getting back into shape and getting ready for the next tournament. You see, a little while after winning States, I’d received an email from USA Taekwondo (USAT), the governing body of Taekwondo in the United States, that I’d qualified for the US Poomsae (Forms) Team Trials and the US National Championships. I’d tried out for a US team before – in 1996, in Atlanta, for a spot on the US Olympic Men’s Handball Team for 2000. I didn’t make it but I was one of about 300-plus who was invited to try out. Unfortunately, for the team, but in a way it eased my disappointment, the US didn’t qualify for the 2000 Olympics.

After reading the emails and talking with my wife, we decided that 2011 would be ‘my’ year; the year in which our focus were these pursuits that were, ultimately, mine and mine alone. We decided that I would train for team trials and nationals for the experience, for our son to be a part of, for writing research and, maybe, to qualify for a national team.

I also began training with the NJ Taekwondo Team. This was fantastic. I got to meet masters who are in the know of how things are currently done and I got to improve on my forms and my fitness. What I’d missed from playing basketball on my high school team in Hong Kong and from our Taekwondo tournament entries with my friends and students from the 1990s was being rekindled here with the New Jersey Team.

I also received a third email informing me that there was going to be a special poomsae seminar and test in June. The test was being given by the Martial Arts Commission of USAT (USAT-MAC) and the seminar was being taught by a senior master from the Kukkiwon Academy in Korea.

May:

May is my anniversary month so, naturally, this has to be mentioned. In 2011, my wife and I celebrated seven years of marriage. This isn’t a lot, in terms of numbers, but when you hear statistics that 50% of American marriages end in divorce and that many marriages (I forget the stats) don’t get beyond 3-5 years, seven is not too shabby.

This was also when the US Poomsae Team Trials were. I’ll admit I had dreams of success. They turned into delusions of grandeur pretty quickly. In preparation for this event, I had to teach myself three advanced poomsae. I didn’t have a lot of time so I spent most of it learning those forms. Of the ones I already knew, I just practiced them as is. Later, after a humiliating last place finish at team trials, I discovered that the forms had changed. They’d become more streamline and uniform; easier to judge fairly in competition. It was still a great experience and a mini-vacation but I did have to put on a brave face. Inside, to be honest, I felt embarrassed and contemplated not even going to nationals.

After my humiliation, my wife and I talked and we decided that I should take the seminar. So, I enrolled in it and applied for the test. I hadn’t tested since 2001 and, since I had enough time in, I could test from 4^th dan to 6^th dan. So, turning to my masters and other masters involved with the state organization, I trained, relearnt everything, trained and trained some more.

June:

It was another mini-vacation, thanks, to Taekwondo that was the main event for me in June - the all-day forms seminar and test. It was a fantastic event and I felt very much at home with the grandmaster from Korea. As soon as he’d arrived with the masters from the USAT-MAC, I bowed to him and I think this gave us some kind of connection. Throughout the course, which started at 9am and ended at 5pm, he would come to each us and correct us as we did the forms the new way; new to me but not the others. It was a packed room that was, perhaps the size of a two squash courts, and it held what must’ve been 90-100 of us. Jude and Guada were great. I wasn’t sure how Jude would be but he stayed happy and watched and played in the play room with other kids. Guada watched, learnt stuff herself and filmed the instructor’s demonstrations on her iPhone. I really absorbed what he taught us and I took it back with me, trying to do the forms the way he did. Strangely, and I don’t speak Korean other than a few Taekwondo-based commands, but I felt like I could understand the instructor.

After an hour break, the test was conducted. There were about nine of us who tested. Another master and I were testing for our 6^th dan and it was a fantastic experience. Those testing were of varying ages so the style of Taekwondo that was on display could have been filmed into a documentary and titled “Taekwondo Through The Ages.” I did everything well, I think, but my breaking routine needed some work. I tried a three-board jump spinning back kick – MY kick – but no go. I hadn’t practiced enough and I was under-rotating. At least my large frame was still able to get up there, though. After three attempts, I switched to a flying sidekick and went right through the wood. Jude, as kids will do, wanted my broken boards.

The following day, I went to my New Jersey Team practice and got my official uniform. That was, simply, cool. I hadn’t been on a team in a long time and to have this uniform, with the New Jersey Taekwondo logo on it, made me feel, again, part of something exciting.

Author Pic Contest

Hi guys. Again, I've been away from blogging for too long. This time it's only been about three weeks but, really, if I'm going to call myself a writer I really do need to write. Life really gets in the way doesn't it? What I really long for is for writing to become my life. It is in my head and in my heart but there are things like bills, insurance payments, car payments, rent, etc that have to be paid so I have a teaching job and coaching jobs and other jobs to get those things covered and to sustain my writing needs.

But where's the writing? I'm supposed to be going through a final pass of my mansucript for my publisher but with everything going on, including raising my 3 year old and spening time with my wife, the time is gone from one day to the next. I'm starting to feel that I need to take a day off and shoot into NYC or somewhere that I can find a spot and write all day long.

As for the mention of a publisher, don't get too excited. As I may have mentioned in a previous blog, I've decided to self-publish. Maybe I'm selling out or maybe I'm just getting tired or impatient but after getting praise followed by the word "but" I don't have the energy to write a bunch of queries and wait and wait and wait. Actually, I'm still waiting to hear from an agent I pitched last January. She  asked for my entire manuscript. When I followed up with her, she said she hand't gotten to it yet but told me to be patient. Knowing my luck, as soon as I've finished payments and the production team and I have gone over all the proofs and my book is set to go to press, she'll probably email me with an offer from someone. Now, wouldn't that be something? I do believe in my work; not just because I've spent ten plus years working on it and because it's mine but because there is a story there that people will enjoy, relate to, get support from and even learn from. I also make myself feel better self-pubbing with the knowledge that Walt Whitman and other fantastic authors self-pubbed their first works too. So, if it was good enough for them to start out, it's good enough for me.

Well, since self-publishing is the equivalent of independent filmmaking in the book world, I've decided to give the world a say in the publishing of my novel. In my website, filamkickingscribe.com, I've posted a contest where you can help choose what photo I'll use for the author pic of my novel. You can win one, or even two, free copies of Back Kicks And Broken Promises. They'll be signed too! Click on this link to the Back Kicks And Broken Promises page of  my site and follow the instructions.

Read the excerpt too and get excited for my book's launch. ;-)